Thursday, 31 December 2015

The Better Me - I'm not a turtle but kissing works!

Speedy & Zai
My good friend and her niece took me to the beach earlier this year, to cheer me up. Giving me the sun, sea and sand is a great gift which is always appreciated. Zai has a turtle she got from a pet shop about a year ago, and named him Speedy because he moves very fast for a turtle. She is only seven years old but very wise.
I recall her obsession with showing Speedy the beach but keeping him in his pretty cage to keep him safe from this natural habitat. 'The ocean will sweep him away and he will get hurt", was her reasoning in not letting him out. He stayed in his 'gilded castle'but was quite excited by everything happening  around him.
She wants to set him free, when she thinks he can make it on his own. She loves him and does not wish for the world to hurt him. Therein lies thoughts of survival of those loved and cared for.
Life misses - Sometimes we keep ourselves and those we love in our own gilded cage for safety. We can provide all we believe is necessary for happiness, yet deny everything which is needed to live. My reflections take me to the following revelations and its getting clearer now, life must happen.
I’ve gone through and I’ve come out
Not as broken as I was when I went in
My focus before was on the business of business
More business, More stability, More money, More happiness
Less time for my family
Just there giving
Giving more
But still giving less

There was a time when I dreamed
Those dreams came through and were true
Just not the big one
That elusive one, which cried out to be found
Because I’ve been searching all my life
Seeking what I never seemed to quite catch
Demolishing all the 'can’ts' while searching for 'I can'

I’ve gone through, and I have come out
Better than before
Less than who I was - and I was good & bad
Better now because I have found
All that evaded my search
To find who I am beneath all I chose to share
This is that uncovered part of me
It’s now on show

Better than I was before
Holding on tightly to that mental stability
Called societal conformity
Take it- I give it not slowly
Freely, with all the energy surging
Broken body..not broken heart
I’ve gone through and true and I’ve come out
To be the better part of me
The one here with you - is free.
Kissing Works...
Life kisses - A good mushy cheeky kiss can only come when you're open and ready to receive. You've got to show your willingness to take a chance to earn that kiss from life. Kissing is interacting - the real kissing I'm talking of. There is the anticipation of the 'mistletoe kiss' and the 'happy new year kiss' every December, because of the warmth of the connection in this season. Then there is the Happy New Year Kiss - the one we hope will last more than a year! Everyone wants that life kiss, and is open to giving & receiving in that moment.
Life is meant to be lived. We are going to get hurt, and that's okay because its safer to feel than to live with no feelings!To be this better me has some hurts, pains, joys, laughter and understanding. "There is no risk in taking a chance I have come to believe. The real risk is in doing nothing and dying while alive." Yes it seems risky to fall, get embarrassed, lose everything and fail -but just think, its more risky doing nothing and staying trapped in the known like poor Speedy  the turtle.
I like kissing, and there are risks in that, but I do it anyway. I win every-time I step out, and into another adventure. It's time to think about gift giving.... but its never quite what it seems  coming from me, and that's another story!

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