Saturday, 17 December 2016

Are We Losing Christmas?

A Christmas Past

I can remember how wonderful the Christmases of my past were, and the warmth and love for the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He was the reason for the season. His birth was a joyous time and a very happy event. We would sing carols, hymns and songs that were uplifting and inspired hope. There was significance in the rainbow of colors which filled every hall and every celebration party. There were streamers and banners, even balloons, professing "Merry Christmas", "Unto Us a Savior is born", and many other words which kept us focused on the reason for the season.

I'm thinking out loud because my heart is disturbed. When did our churches become so sophisticated that they removed the color and the reason for the season? When did the celebration turn into a somber event of black and white or muted colors, all to do with color scheme and not the happiness of this time of the year? When did the Christmas tree become obsolete, and the lights and festive energy become a dark and dismal event with folks queuing up to eat and leave? Maybe I was standing at the doorway of the wrong place, and looking at a new expression of joy...hmm felt joyless. Yes there was chatter, and most were resplendent in their very best dark garb, but where was Christmas? Maybe fashion and design has managed to push things in a different direction, or maybe I'm on a different street, and its time to seek the lights of Christmas past.

I thought the Grinch had won. All the signs were there, and just look at the results. Thankfully I am awake, and I can remember a time when gatherings and celebrations were less about 'a look' and more about 'the life'. I will share a memory I shared last year with you. You don't need much to celebrate at Christmas, you can be happy with whatever you are blessed to have!

A Childhood Memory

My mother did not believe in hording. Throughout the year she would sew and make most of our new clothes on weekends - the others were from the 'jumble sales'(previously used clothes) she visited. Christmas though was a time to clear out the closets and the 'hand-me-down' saga began!

As the second child new was a novelty experienced mainly during the Christmas season. we were encouraged help fold and pack the clothes after washing to take to the nearest orphanage. When my mom was sick we were sent there for a few months, which included a Christmas. I must have been around six at the time.

I can remember all the little beds in the dormitory for girls separated by a mini cabinet. I thought it was fun to stay there with the nuns while my mom recovered from her illness. She was a teacher at a Catholic School and they took care of their own! We lived with rules, shared clothes and sometimes sadness. That Christmas my dad came from wherever he was and visited. To my little mind, I thought Santa had sent him early for me. He left after a brief visit and I thought that's what dads did for a long time. Still I was happy, in this big clean beautiful place where nuns ruled but loved us.

The only time Santa visited me was at that orphanage from my recollections! He came on the firetruck and gave everyone hugs and 'big' gifts! Can't remember what I got but it was good.

We went to church on Christmas day and had our toys blessed in prayer, and an opportunity to show -off I think!

I can also draw from the depths of my memories the treasured feeling of love, hope and happiness whatever the circumstances. Whenever I think of Christmas I think of giving, and have had to learn how to receive. There is so much joy in being the giver, it makes receiving pale in comparison. Yet, the real joy in giving is a happy receiver. Thus the meeting of a child and a woman has finally joined, to understand Christmas! 

When the world changes, we must adapt without losing the joy and the beauty of the Christmas season.

Have a Merry Christmas!

D-Wordslayer

Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

Friday, 16 December 2016

Culture & Christmas Trini Style!




My thoughts are on Christmas...

I love the Christmas season. Actually, one of the most important and best parts of the season is our food. We have fantastic food which most homes will prepare to serve families and friends as they visit - from house to house. This season is about the richness of relationships and how we connect annually. There is a lot of love being shared, either through gift giving or hugs , kisses, and time spent. The poor and displaced are not left out as people dig deep to give everyone some Christmas cheer. I do wish Christmas was every day.
Here is a post I shared last year on one of my blogs, to show you just how much fun my Christmas past was, and my present is in Trinidad & Tobago.

Christmas Nostalgia - A Lime aka Informal Hangout!

Its a 'Trini thing' with a Trini meaning - Lime!
Growing up we learnt the value of togetherness through celebrations. A lime is simply the coming together of persons to share a few drinks and 'shoot some breeze' (talk)! At Christmas time its a bigger occasion, which tends to turn an 'informal hangout' aka 'lime' into party with family and friends, neighbors and children.

There is music, talk, even card games and dancing. Everything is done in the home, in the backyard, or in front on the porch or stairways! As kids we were always given a piece of cake, sweetbread, ham & turkey slices and if lucky a 'pastelle'!

 The 'pastelle' is a cornmeal patty cooked in banana leaves. Its a tradition to stuff this corn-cake with a meat filling and wrap in the banana leaf and boiled. Its then frozen for use throughout the season. Its served warm with a special mustard sauce called 'chow chow'. We were given the tasks of washing the leaves and 'singeing then over the fire for softening and cleaning with the heat! In searching for a picture of pastelles I discovered a great recipe on the link www.simplytrinicooking.org via Google. The picture is also from that site.

Liming requires drinking and that's when the liquor cabinet gets tested. There are beers, whiskey, rum,vodka, ponche de creme, sorrel and ginger beer to name a few. I was always happy to get a 'taste' of ponche de creme as it was made with milk and rum and some aromatic Angostura bitters. My mom thought it was okay for us to get a little if we were good during the season! To this day enjoy a glass whenever offered!

As Children we were given the tasks to peel the sorrel leaves off the seed and fill a bowl. The sorrel was then rinsed and boiled with spice and clove and sugar! The grating of the ginger for the ginger-beer was something I did not like doing, but did it anyway, because I loved the sweet burning sensation of the drink!

Every lime has music and there is a steady mixture of carols, parang, soca and calypso to keep everyone entertained. Children were allowed to stay up late during the 'lime' at Christmas as it was a special time. We learnt a lot about the value in sharing and 'living' with other people during the Christmas season - the other people being family and friends who stayed over not wanting the lime to end. Life was simple and children simply accepted the easy joy of the festivities!

What is a cultural experience you enjoy in your country? As you think about it, that smile and joy is sure to warm your heart as it does my own! I'm in the Caribbean, so we have a lot of sun and rain, and though there is no snow, we all share this season of love in a special way!

Happy Christmas season!









Credits: *Special credit to GoogleTT for the photo of pastelles from www.simplytrinicooking.org 

Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

Monday, 12 December 2016

Random Thoughts & The News

The face of news

The blogging world is like a parallel universe. It is a mixture of people, cultures, beliefs, religions, and a social cook-up of platforms for any type of diversity. The past year plus, has been a virtual world, filled with learning, technological experience being gained, and relationships, started, lost, and evolved based on commonalities. This is the way of the world.

I've gained some friends who are quite skilled at their craft and blogging and are more than happy to help others. I've explored through articles, countries I've always wanted to visit, and shared tears and laughter as we discuss world events. What makes this year remarkable, is, I have learnt more about me than I would have, if I had not been blogging. The experiences, observations and thoughts are real, and with sharing something real comes responsibility. One must own their words and sometimes the effect of their words on others. We can influence, either positively or negatively. It is the power of the written word.

The media worldwide on all types of platforms has been taking a beating for accurate and inaccurate reporting. I do wonder though how many of us are responsible for inaccurately sharing what we know to be false, or what we feel is from a compromised source? The news is available, and though technology takes it anywhere fast, we are the ones that input the data.

Who we are when we close our eyes is the same person as the one with them open. Our words have power, thus the weight of responsibility should weigh more than nothing!

Some random thoughts for your consideration.

D-Wordslayer

Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

Friday, 9 December 2016

Christmas Then & Now

Thinking Christmas...

This Christmas like every other Christmas is special. In Trinidad & Tobago, Christmas is our spring cleaning season. The smell of paint and the sound of women negotiating with storekeepers for the best deals on drapery and curtains are a part of the  preparation. We are caught up in the commercial web, but somehow the consumerism gives way to friendly camaraderie as shoppers meet and exchange ideas.

Christmas trees, decorations and music fill the air. We are a vibrant people, and very visual with our emotions. The malls, streets, and every city center is buzzing with activity. For me, getting the house 'ready' for entertaining and festivities seems like a mountain looking at a pebble on the beach. Can I ever finish, and will each day last longer than the last so I can do more with the time given? I am savoring these moments.

Things are different when 'time' goes by quickly. My babies are big babies, and they have their own ideas about the holidays. As I listen and look at then, I am reminded of who I was many years ago, and how I was too busy to enjoy the precious moments presented. Now, I wish to wait. I desire in my heart for each season to slowly release its essence and fill each room and space with an aroma. I am no longer, hastily awaiting the end, but I am enjoying the beginning of each day, and season.

My feelings for Christmas have evolved. I appreciate more what I grew up with. Here are my thoughts shared last year on a Christmas memory;

" The entire Christmas season as I remember it from childhood was filled with noise. There were squeals of laughter, and lots of shouting and some tears. Overall, the house -my home was warm with love and cheer. Even in times when there was little money for much, my mom somehow made the home warm especially at Christmas.

She was and is an amazing woman - my mom - Maricita Moreno Eversley. "It is what is in the heart and not the material things which bring joy" , this is what I remember from her. It is what I practice today. It is the tradition of sharing and enjoying what you have, and not thinking about what you don't have. It is living with the warmth within you and not seeking what others may have on the outside.

On Christmas day I felt that warmth in my home  last year. The fires keep burning, as the laughter of my children (grown -up), friends and 'borrowed' grand-kids  fill the air! How wonderful this season of love!"

What are your memories of Christmas? What does it mean to you? For me it all boils down to family and love. This is what comes to my heart when I think of Christmas. We are the family of Jesus Christ and he was to us on this earth, in love!

Thanks for sharing, commenting and being a part of this season with me!

D-wordslayer


Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

Monday, 5 December 2016

A time of reflection

Reflecting...


" The biggest part of who we are is sometimes who we are not!" (Eversley,DL. 2016)

Last year I wrote a post called "An Act Of Contrition...Renewing Me", and published via LinkedIn Pulse. This year, as I read the post a lot of its truth still resonates. I have changed, my body is healing, and my spiritual core is being strengthened daily, but I am in essence the same. Reflecting on the words this year, has a lot more impact than last year. Maybe it is because, I have found the person I am will not change because of the circumstances around me. No I am me, and that person grows like a flame, when inspired by the miracle of life and living.

The post is shared below:

Sometimes to find the light within you need to move the junk covering your glow!

A few years ago I did a tour of Harrison's Caves in Barbados - that's a shot from inside above. Its a limestone cave which is quite beautiful to enter and go through. There is that feeling of discovering the light deep below the surface, covered in darkness. Hidden treasures waiting to be seen.

This year, I've had a lot to process. My heart, mind, body and soul needs to empty some stuff which can cause stress and clog the arteries of life.

Years ago growing up, I was a part of a family of Catholics (a religion) who prayed weekly together while at church on Sundays. It was seen as the correct thing to do, without really understanding why. There were the confessions which were feared, as I wished to avoid a very long list of devotionals to repeat as part of my repentance. I do remember feeling free after my penance was completed, but I always had many to do.

There were times I thought I would outsmart God and not tell him everything, because how would he really know my mind? It never worked, I simply gave in, afraid, the priest would know of my additional sin of lying to his boss!

As I sit here these memories come back to taunt me. Recalcitrant childish behavior is not seen only in children. The news shows a lot of politicians and famous public personalities engaging in behavior not acceptable in a child. What should their penance be, or is it okay for adults to do what we punish our children for?

Scanning social media every day makes it very clear, that maybe I was punished too harshly. I had to confess about telling my mom I took the candy she asked me not to take at 6 years old. I got suspended for calling my teacher names because I did not get my own way in class and I was only 11 years old. I even had a lot of penance for talking to the boys from the boy school next to my girl school. I had so much penance my name is probably in the ‘good book of saints’! I look at politicians trumping away with divisive language, increasing rage, fear, and I wonder will they ever have to say ‘an act of contrition'! 

I will be letting it all out - my feelings of contrition for bad behavior this year. I do hope it can be expelled through cleansing  and asking for forgiveness. I’ve had quite a lot of anger, hate, and enormous feelings to cause pain to those who hurt me in the recesses of my mind. There have been a lot of tantrum moments with my family as I adjusted to healing.  I've even been so bold as to say some harsh words at times to folks who say they "understand my hurt and it will pass, it will be okay." How would they know, not being me? So yes, I was a bad girl and most times the platitudes were not appreciated when given - but I appreciate them now!

I’m also sorry for telling the folks at the government agencies that I know they are doing their best, when I actually thought otherwise. I’m sorry for being sweet and patient and kind - a real picture of diplomacy, when I really wanted to tell the truth about my feelings! I’m sorry for lying to myself by exercising patience and restraint with all those world leaders on behalf of my beloved refugees. I’m sorry for complacency, and compromising on some of my beliefs – accepting less than what I am due.
If I were to be given penance, it would be quite long, I’m sure. The politicians of the world do make me look like an angel but two wrongs do not make it right. I'm responsible for my actions and hope they share similar feelings during quiet moments. Reflective action is good.

I'm clearing the things that block out my light, so once more my heart is easier to see when looking in the mirror.

Now I am free, to forgive, move on and fill that wonderful empty space with happiness, hope and creativity! I’m not bitter, and I am certainly not sad. I am free, and I wish the same for you. I have hope, joy and opportunities I am still unaware of. My glass is filling with something great; I wish the same for you!

Lets get the rubbish out of the house called 'self' and burn it till the ashes are seen no more. Lets refresh, renew and accept our act of contrition to ourselves. Accepting our truth, and not being afraid to be bold in who we are. I am definitely ready for tomorrow, and I'm walking into my sun once more!

The Present


As I read the comments once more, the value of comments and interactions are highlighted. Everyone has something of value to add, whether in agreement or not. You can check out the original post here, if you wish, and you may find your own thoughts reflected.

Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts through liking and commenting. If it resonates please share with your network, family and friends.


Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER with appropriate and specific direction to the original content




Friday, 2 December 2016

Parents...Patience & Love!


A mama's truth


Parenting is hard. There are no manuals that tell you what to do to be the best parent for the child you birth. The only thing you know is this human being is dependent on you for a long time. No two children are the same. Actually the differences in children in the same home can be quite startling. Nevertheless, as a parent, for many of us, the learning never ceases. We build up expectations, hopes, dreams and fantasies of success and grandeur on many levels for all our babies. We love our children. I love my sons and beautiful daughter with my all. They are more precious than silver and gold. Indeed, the miracle of their life is a blessing beyond measure.

I've written about my sons previously, but I'd like to share about my daughter, and the complex relationship we have.

She's a girl


She is headstrong. She loves to read, and is an incredible writer. My baby girl is smart, and loves doing makeup on herself, and is great with eyebrows. She has developed a sense of style, and enjoys getting her hair styled and being 'on point’. She is great with the science and literary subjects, and initially thought she wanted to be a doctor. Presently, she is working until she figures out what her career path will be.

My daughter, my baby, does not like me, or my rules much at this time. I'm quite sure she has never liked my rules, and can find me intolerable on occasions. She does share her feelings on what she believes a mother is and should be, and I have been getting a failing grade for a long time. I'm not sure if I can ever be the mother she wishes for, but I am the mom she has.

If you feel shocked, as you get to this point, then, just think back to your own rebellious days, or your present. Our children are not 'made to order’,nor are we who they wish for as they develop into adults, sometimes. Life can be like a field of thorns. Difficult to stand up, when every move can bring pain. I understand this, but standing up and walking on the prickly field, is a part of my parental journey. Eventually, the bed of roses will be there, waiting. The final destination, whenever it comes, will not be something you want to be around for. Hopefully, a child outlives their parents. This is my hope.

The relationship we share, as I mentioned is not smooth. There was a time a long time ago, I thought she was happy with me. Right now, I'm 'persona non grata’, and her perceptions of me are not good. We both have trust issues. We both feel strongly. I hope that we can both love each other through the adversities, both real and imaginary. This is life.

Looking back, then forward


Growing up and entering my teenage years, was different to what children go through now. As I listen to my eldest son share on my thoughts from the past, and the realities of the present for my daughter, our differences are really similar, just presented in a different way. He has wisdom beyond his years, and is a spoonful of reality when needed.

As parents  our first instinct is to  protect,  and the next is to provide. Sometimes we have let go  sooner than we want to, and at other times we may  need to  release them even when  we don't  think it's wise.  I am reminded regularly of the upcoming twenty year birthday and how much more 'others' can do in her world.

As far as relationships go, this is the most  important one in my life at this moment,  and it takes  two to make it work and get better. I will  keep  trying,  praying  and  maybe one-day soon,  the bridge  between  us will be strong enough to weather  any storm.  As long as we have  life we have hope,  and I am  happy for this.

My dear  readers,  some stories are layered so deep beneath  the surface  we need to dig constantly to get to the core. Whatever your own story,  always  remember  each new day brings another chance to work on you. This is the yin and yang of life, and maybe the stories we hide, because the world needs to see the beautiful stories which hide reality. Be true. Keep it real.

Thanks for reading and sharing. I look forward to your thoughts and experiences if you will share with this blogging world!


Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

Thursday, 1 December 2016

Just Thinking Out Loud: Life with Me is a Limited Time Edition!


Time


In clearing the drafts in my email something popped up, "life with me is a limited time edition." So, here I go wondering where that line came from and saw it was from me - smile! I just have to smile at that cocky line which would have come about from somewhere unknown right now. If a thought comes to me I've been making notes on the 'notes app'  on my mobile or in my email drafts. Sometimes I go back and continue, or, the words can be left behind along with the memory of why it came to light.

Writing can be a lot of fun when you pull everything together and a post or article is the finished product. When its incomplete if there is a residual remainder, the tale may never make it to the eyes of others. This brings me to some random thoughts on ending the year in a state of completeness.

Is it necessary to complete?

"To complete is to finish, making that which was started whole or brought to an end. Nothing more can be added, and even if something could be added, the time has run out."(Eversley,2016

I am ending this year in a state of incompleteness (my non word). For the rest of my life I do not wish to be complete. I do not wish to find myself at the end of the road, but rather to keep adding and changing the person I am and the way I live. Yes. This is continuous improvement and personal development!

Life with me is a limited time edition because my time on this earth is limited. I want to end studying at the end of my life. I desire to stop loving everyone I care for at the end of my existence. I desire to keep working, inspiring, inventing, creating, when all of me has completed my circle of life. The way I choose to offer my services will always be improving because it will not have an ending on my ability. Who I am and my circumstances, will always change because they are not stagnant - this is my mantra for the end of this year and the upcoming new year.

Let me be incomplete because I am not absolutely perfect - simply aspiring for all the perfect opportunities to meet my imperfection, and together we will successfully complete our moment's mission.

Life is a paradox of balance. We would do well to embrace its completeness.

Just thinking out loud...

Thanks for reading, sharing your thoughts with me, your circle of friends and followers.

Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER with appropriate and specific direction to the original content



Tuesday, 29 November 2016

He keeps coming back: Mr. Grinch


Its that time of the year again.

Yes, its the season I love the most of all each and every year. Its the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ by way of a special date of memorial. As with everything else in the world, commercialism has indeed taken a hold of festivities and with it a new symbol. The symbol I'm, sharing with you is non-other than Mr. Grinch.
Last year I wrote a poem about him and how he comes to 'mess with' my happy season.

Catching Mr. Grinch

That Grinch tried to steal my Christmas,
Last year he did not win
My sister came to visit
And kicked him in the shin
He must really like the torture, of trying his disguise on me
He thought I would not but yes I did
Finally he saw my Christmas tree

Mr. Grinch by now I hoped you’d see this worthy adversary
Will not depart, nor change her heart
Each season I will be merry
Your spoils of unhappiness must be really low
For this next attempt you make
Forget finance
Forget romance
But never my Christmas spirit you’ll take

Grinchy boy maybe I was feeling sorry
And gave you the ‘come hither‘ eye
Sorry I need to tell you, that’s just a part of my Christmas disguise
Wrapped in all my troubles
And bills piled so high
I can see why you were in your glee
My door is never open to you  - sour grapes
That’s a fools thought if you felt happy

Grinch dearie  please don’t look my way
My smiles are turned on very brightly
The stars in the sky
Can’t tell the days which go by
You are a nightmare that will make me feel sorry

Scroogy Grinch, you are so adorable
The way you make me remember all I do not have
You can fill a moment with sorrow
Casting shadows which make me sad
But I put up my Christmas tree today
Just for you to see
Whatever you do, will only hurt you
This Christmas it’s not about me!

I will be spreading joy
 Making everyone laugh
Singing carols, telling stories
No one will be sad
I’m on a mission to spread happiness
Those great feelings of good cheer
And I’ll even share a wish for you this Christmas
That you don’t come back next year! 

I do hope this time of the year brings everyone much joy and family time! Thanks for reading, sharing, and expressing your joy for the season and life!

img_20151226_163408-1Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

Monday, 28 November 2016

Just Thinking out loud - Control


Random Thoughts


Blogging has been for me, a way to share as much as I know with the rest of the world. These are my thoughts and examples from my own experiences, so I guess you can say - Dwordslayer shares a real person!

There are days I need encouragement to read, and then there are moments when comforting, interaction exchanges matter. Right now, at this very moment, my 'happy' wants to jump out, but its being held by somethings I can't fully control. Today, I'd like to talk about the things which I can't control and how blogging has helped me get to this point of healing a broken body.

Musical mind

There is a song for every feeling. Every mood and nuance of life has rhythm. Just imagine how you feel when you're excited and listen to the matching sound which fills you at the thought. I can feel a dose of Salsa filling me with excitement, and immediately it reflects my feelings. (Conga - Gloria Estefan)

Now imagine, fear, sadness and pain. For me there are so many love songs about a 'love gone wrong', its like a selection fiesta, but the melody I choose, will make me feel at peace. I have practiced feeling( the beats/rhythm) songs of peace for emotions which can make me unhappy or feel fear. We are drawn to it because of our moods, and the desire for a companion in emotions. ( In the Arms of an Angel - Sarah McLachlan)

Lets now look at the pressure of challenges. I need a song to motivate and I've got a 'cloud of  encouragement' filled with gospel and relatable inspirational songs collected over the years. Have you ever listened to "The Climb" by Miley Cyrus, if not please check it out.

Then of course there are my happy songs, full of energy and though some are not super upbeat , they can take me to a place of fulfillment like no other. I spend a lot of time in this zone, because its my choice.( Party Rock Anthem-LMFAO)

Its out of my control


I can't control the weather. It will rain like an ocean overflowing when I least expect it. The sun will be blisteringly hot, and I will be wishing for rain. Then when its humid I will be wishing for a less sticky atmosphere and be hoping a breezy wind will stop by. Whatever happens with the weather, I don't get to decide how the day will be. I get to prepare for it sometimes, and I get to experience it. I can choose to gripe, or enjoy the benefits of each weather. In the Caribbean I wish for snow, because its , in my opinion, the hugging weather!

Everyone has a different opinion of me, and some thoughts may make me run for cover if uncovered! In the USA election which just ended, I was really hoping the other candidate won. Neither candidate was loved by everyone. Everyone was influenced by information which tipped a scale based of their needs and personal convictions. Its gotten crazy, but if the tables are turned someone will be unhappy. Thus, political outcomes, I cannot control, but voting gives a contributing stake in the outcome if I were a citizen. This is life, and a democracy at work. I hope more persons can be mobilized, for a different outcome the next time it comes around. We cannot control the thoughts of others but can influence, and that's much better than being around 'remote control humans'.

I can't control an accident, or the effects of it. I can control the process of healing and while the outcomes may not meet my expectations, I can mange my expectations to be fair to myself. Some of you may relate to this. It is one of those 'out of control ' things which can make one feel frustrated, anxious, and even angry with oneself and others. Yes, its easy to say it will get better, and even live the words, of hope. My truth is not textbook. My truth is a bunch of DNA's mixed with age and some other stuff, which make me unique. We all are unique. I could not stop the accident, but I can take control of my outcome, and you can also.

Its in my control


I can smile, laugh, feel happy, cry, and be the best woman in some crazy situations which makes me happy. Blogging and wearing my heart on my sleeve has been one of the best remedies, in my opinion. I'm sharpening my skills and sharing to the world, and getting to rest at the same time. Social media, has given me the control confidence with technology needed to expand the horizons of delivery of my capabilities. Maybe, somethings are out of our control, but every one of us was born with the capacity to have 'self' under control of 'self'.

This is just the beginning. Face the fear, and face the future. You are your own super- control freak. Its your God given ability, and moment of truth.

You Made A Way - Travis Greene




I did start writing this early last week, so its being published a bit late, or maybe its perfectly timed for you - my friend, my family, my online world of bees and social media kin!

I'm sending a huge shout out to the Bebee community of  Ambassador Bees, Blogger Bees and everyone who has missed me, and sent me a note. I sure miss You & Me. It's an experience of emotions and passions which results in a Social Media Experience.

I got You Babe - UB40




The week has begun... Woooooo!!!

Thanks for reading, commenting and sharing!

D-wordslayer


Credits: YouTube
You Made A Way- Travis Greene:The comfort zone entertainment
I Got You Babe- UB40: UB40VEVO

Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER with appropriate and specific direction to the original content






Saturday, 12 November 2016

Another Milestone...

To all my readers and followers...
I've been off  for a while. Had not written, and though I tried to keep up with my reading, the challenges seemed to block even the thing I love so very much - writing and sharing with my global audience.
I have quite a bit to publish over the next month. Seems I'm slower than usual, but this 'wordslayer 'is a fighter, a warrior, and I will keep pressing forward!

It's been a long four weeks.

Time has passed and so too the challenges which came during the time. Challenges come into our lives to prove us, and not to harm us. Yes, there are moments when it seems the climb up the mountain of life is steep, but looking back it was quite flat - it was the perception of my capabilities which needed to be changed. Change does not come from simply saying positive things - but that is a start. It comes from every action taken, moving closer to the challenge and away from the fear.

Today, I pray that we can all heed the call of the challenge, because the reward is the strength gained from that opportunity!

Be blessed and encouraged...



Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

Wednesday, 26 October 2016

The Best You


Inspirational Thoughts...






Inspirational Thoughts  are deep reflections for personal development. Life can bring many challenges our way, but we have the power within, to conqueror and win in this journey! 

Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

Friday, 14 October 2016

beBee Affinity Networking - Carpe Diem!

Feeling the Honey, when it's missing..


Yesterday I finally got the notice from our postal service that my beBee package was released. Finally.  My "honey" was seized, because honey  needs approval license to import, even a small gift. We have a pretty decent honey market locally thus the bees and market are protected. Nevertheless, I was thrilled to see the label with my name on it. I felt the love "Team beBee" on this side of the world.

Well when all you hope to receive is not there what do you do? Do you celebrate what you have, and can you "Carpe Diem"- seize the moment? Well I sure can today!

Let's face it, the postal service is dying and I love receiving from them. The changes in technology makes the human interface limited sometimes, unless you 'carpe diem', and find the 'networking affinity' to interface! In rolls social media - beBee.com

I've been a fan of Archie Comics from a child and I love the sweetness of honey. Make your honey, find a honey source in your daily routine, Bee Social..




And all that honey can be hard to find...but with me, its all sweet! Who will help me with my honey hive and spread the happiness we should experience in our lives? Sending out some sugar, because sweetness has to start with something... time to get the 'honey production' churning...



When there is a lot of honey sweetness in my life .. I can't stop the feeling..shhh, this is what I do with the sweetness.. try it, and get your social moving...Bee Social..... and dedicating the dance today to Alan Gellar !



So an encore you will adore, because in any language aging can only make you sweeter...


Bee Social, Be Happy, and follow the sweetness...


                                                              Thank you!!


Credits : YouTube video online
Winsorbear: The Archies - Sugar sugar (Original 1969 Music Video)
ola hola: Maroon 5 -Sugar
Ricardo Walker: Justin Timberlake - Can't stop the feeling, Dance by Ricardo Walker Crew
Marber: Sugar Sugar - The Archies (Letra en ingles y espanol)

I’m a Business Development Consultant with over thirty years experience in sales marketing and brand /market/ customer service. I’ve started and operated a regional distribution company for over seven years in HVAC supply & distribution. Sponsorships, seminars, training and promotional activities are part of my portfolio developed over the years. If you have a challenge, it can be resolved. For consultation contact dwordslayer@gmail.com

Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

Monday, 10 October 2016

A Tale of Two Women – Hillary & Kim

Prelude…

I was eighteen when I had my first son. I did not know what it felt like to love someone unconditionally until I met him as he grew in my womb. He was born on November, 22nd 1987, the most beautiful baby boy the earth had ever seen.  
I had a toothache and it was after ten at night. There were no pharmacies open in those days, so my boyfriend decided to take us to his family home for medication. The house was quiet when we arrived, and it was after 12am. I went immediately to the bathroom for medication leaving my son and his dad on the sofa, their backs were facing the sliding doors which I heard close, as I hurried to get some toothx lotion. As I made my way after a few minutes to the front, I saw someone with a kerchief covering half of a face, and movement outside the door. Before I could respond, thinking maybe his brother was playing a joke, three men stormed in. The look on my face caused by boyfriend to hold onto our son and all the air and time stood still. I remember thinking, pay attention, don’t panic, do as they say, don’t panic, pray, note everything, do not scream. It took one second – everything flashes in and out of one’s mind. Will we die, will I be raped, will my baby or boyfriend be hurt, I must save them. The first man came towards me quickly, and I saw the gun for a moment, before he placed it against my lower back nudging me to listen, and do as he said. “keep quiet, where is the money, do not speak, tell me where is the money?” I did not know what he was speaking about, and before I could respond, he advised me not to speak. He walked me through the house never moving the gun from its position on the lower portion of my back. They were pulling open drawers and moving things around. All this time, the gun remained waiting to be used. The barrel was probably no bigger than a couple inches in diameter, and I knew it was hard, heavy and alive. The second guy had placed a long shiny blade at the back of my boyfriend’s neck, and told him not to move or he would kill our baby. The third had another knife and kept saying, “let’s just cut them…”. 

After what seemed like an eternity of walking throughout the house with the robber as he searched with one of his accomplices, they made me knock on two of the bedroom doors where my boyfriend’s brother and sister were asleep. I was left in his sister’s bedroom with her, and then the two brothers and my son were brought into the room. The guy with the gun said to my boyfriend, ” see we have not hurt your women.” They locked the door and told us not to try to get out or we would be killed. I cleared out one of the cupboard shelves, and rocked my son to sleep, then placed him hidden for safety, without blocking the air. We prayed aloud. They returned soon after, and left again after looking at us. We continued praying. That night they got just over one thousand dollars in cash and some jewelry. I am glad they got something, or it may have ended differently. 
I’m sharing this experience, because I know what it feels like to be confronted by bandits. I know what it feels like for the police to come and rescue us, after we got an old telephone below the bed to work- no mobile phones in those days. I know what it is to feel paralyzed with fear every time a door opens. I know how many years it takes sleeping with the lights on and constantly locking doors, checking windows and needing to know my children are okay. I saw the resemblance on the faces of strangers, and could feel the gun barrel for over a decade. This is not a fairy-tale.

The dark side of social media – Kim Kardashian West

Life on social media reflects the society we live in. There are highs and lows, good and bad, and then there is the callousness of humankind when shit happens. Everyone shares a lot, sometimes way too much. This is the culture developed, by the incessant desire of living within the reality of others.

The dark side of social media attracts a lot of attention. In fact many make a living off perpetuating violations and lifting the bar over things and situations which are socially, psychologically and morally harmful to others. Sometimes it’s for a ‘harmless laugh” and at other times the reasons can be warped and sinister. This should not excuse criminal behavior, but we have to be aware of the impact of social media on our safety.

Trending in the news is the robbery of Kim Kardashian-West. My heart goes out to her. She is a mother, daughter, sister, wife, friend and a human being. I’m not into reality shows but from time to time I see her sharing her life. This lady is resilient, and she has the boldface bravery to stare a lot of negative things in the face, and turn them around to her benefit. For the most part she lives a life of drama and perseverance. She is no different to the wolves on Wall Street or politicians who decide to pursue dreams and possibilities. She is ambitious, innovative, and declares herself selfish, and open to scrutiny. She is a public figure. I am not a fan but know a lot of people who are, including my nieces.

While many choose to see the negative impact of the Kardashians ascent into this world, let’s be objective and admit, they are successful because they are good at creating something, many dream of and live vicariously through. Many women would like to have some of their opportunities… including the things frowned on. Whatever your personal thoughts, the Kardashians make the role of family support in today’s society relevant. Whatever the crazy scandal or situation, they own it, and break it down into digestible pieces, thus creating a media maelstrom. Social media is their domain.

Kim was robbed at gun point. She was tied up gaged and endured a ‘lifetime of moments’ uncertain if she would be raped or killed. As the news made all the social media sites, and the comments, and twitter storm took over, I thought about this woman. I felt close to her, because I understand, and do not wish this experience on anyone. Her wealth does not make her immune or set apart from humanity when she is a victim of a crime.

What has she ever done to hurt you, the person tuning into the channels to watch her life or checking out her twitter feed, or reading all the gossip about her. That some would wish for her to be harmed is a painful read, and gut wrenching, the way it was initially assumed to be a publicity stunt. The price of this reality aspect of a Hollywood job, shows its dark side of inhumanity.

Hillary Rodham-Clinton

Hillary Rodham-Clinton is another lady who has had the boldface bravery to be ambitious. She has worked hard towards her dreams, fight for her friendship and marriage, and have the audacity at the peak of her career to run for president of the United States of America on two occasions. To top it all off she has drive, determination, character, stamina, and love for the people of her country, to stand in firing line and take all those darn bullets of words like a man.

She is no coward, but she is a mother, wife, friend, grandmother and a human being. She has a warm and loving light which shows, because she cares for people. Like many US presidents and leaders before her, she has made mistakes and is not perfect. It seems that because of her gender, and tenacity to keep going, she is judged more harshly than the men who went before her. As a woman who dares to stand up in a world carved out for men, she is perhaps, an outcast because she can do this job of President and has proven time and time again, that she will make the hard decisions… whatever the outcome on her. She is prepared for a moment such as this.

Hillary has spent most of her life in public office and has the scars and the experience of a veteran of politics. I have watched, read and followed her career throughout the years, and though, I do not agree with her many times, she consistently gets up and fights. Never giving up, and always with dignity, grace and good character.

A Tale of  Women

Traditional ideas, societal norms and customs are twisted when it comes to women and ambition. If we decide to be housewives and homemakers there are those who will ridicule and condemn us as having no ambition, skill or progressive modern behavior. If we choose to pursue dreams, we can find ourselves the target of feminist jokes and sexist antagonism. If we should prove ourselves capable of being a leader in the government, military, civil society, religious group, our lives and character are targeted by those of lesser self-esteem.

There is ‘political power’ and ‘social business power’ which can be commanded by any gender to come forth to attain. As I read an article by Richard Cohen, Washington Post, July 25, 2016, ‘If Hillary Clinton were a man’, I wonder would people view her the same way. The prejudices of this US election, makes it more apparent that society has challenges with women in powerful roles, and attaining personal goals, or even being ambitious.

There are many male business moguls, rappers, singers, and public figures on social media and prior in print media, who are celebrated. They rise above  sex scandals and other activities to become celebrated business icons and public figures. For Kim Kardashian- West, maybe its time we look at how she has developed an empire and business career all her own. How Kim and her family started their business and careers are different from what is considered traditionally acceptable. Many are shocked by the very public expose of their very personal and private selves, and they are labelled. Hugh Hefner was never labelled the same way, and he was not showcasing himself, but many ‘vulnerable others’.

I do not personally know these women, nor do have any association which would bring us into contact. Like the rest of the world looking on, their headlines drew me in, and with a different lens, compassion, respect, and deep understanding, I see this part of their journey. I do wish their was a lot less prejudice and a greater willingness to embrace the brave and bold warrior spirits of these very different women. Their impact on global society is defining. When you come across them, you will feel something. Love or hate, they epitomize resilience and perseverance in today’s society. Women are more than able.

These are my thoughts and observations, which, may differ from others. Different is good sometimes, its all about perspectives! Thank you for reading, commenting and sharing if you are moved to do so.


Dwordslayer


Credits:If Hillary Clinton Were a Man Washington Post, Richard Cohen
Photos: free4kwallpaper.com Kim Kardashian West
Politico.com- Hillary R Clinton


Red Blogger picI’m a Business Development Consultant with over thirty years experience in sales marketing and brand /market/ customer service. I’ve started and operated a regional distribution company for over seven years in HVAC supply & distribution. Sponsorships, seminars, training and promotional activities are part of my portfolio developed over the years. If you have a challenge, it can be resolved. For consultation contact dwordslayer@gmail.com

Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

Friday, 7 October 2016

A Bee Social Moment - Your Happy!


Quest for Happiness

Sometimes, perspective can be the beginning and end of what holds us back from being happy!

One Sunday evening, going for a cup of coffee, and minding my own business, and I heard.. Girl Crush by Little Big Town on the radio. Well it did take me all of ten seconds to realize that there is a lot to learn from figuring out the bright side. This is a great way of looking at a problem... getting to the source to understand what makes something work. I can see how this sad turn of events in a relationship, can have a happy ending - awareness!




So, as you approach the things which can make you scream, Bee Social.. and remember, relationships should inspire us to stay together. If we have to part, its okay to walk away from the bad memories and keep the good ones for a smile.



I'm with the very wise Linus on Charlie Brown.. Maybe the song is childlike, but then that's where we can make things easy to understand.


Maybe I'm changing the mix a bit, but do hope what inspires me, can inspire you. I dare to be different!  Less can be more in moments like this.

In life things are sometimes not as they appear, and that's what makes our world interesting. So if finding a pencil, whistling, and any of the things we take for granted does it for you, go ahead... Be Happy, Bee Social, and Bee Yourself!

                                   ...BEE Inspired...



Credits:YouTube Videos - Lyrics Lyrics : Girl Crush- Little Big Town
Lazy Day Productions : Shaggy - Angel Lyrics
Number1 Animation Fan : "Happiness" from "You're a good man Charlie Brown"

I’m a Business Development Consultant with over thirty years experience in sales marketing and brand /market/ customer service. I’ve started and operated a regional distribution company for over seven years in HVAC supply & distribution. Sponsorships, seminars, training and promotional activities are part of my portfolio developed over the years. If you have a challenge, it can be resolved. For consultation contact dwordslayer@gmail.com
Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER with appropriate and specific direction to the original content


Friday, 30 September 2016

Inspired By The Challenges



A gentle reminder

The challenges of the day should be embraced. This is how we get to test ourselves and be prepared for the next level in our lives. Maybe, there is no food for today, no money for today, and dire straits aka tough times are looming near. Your back is up against the wall, and you are flustered. At that moment stand up, and walk away from that place where you are. Take a few steps, and look behind.

Now you can walk forward. Where you were is not where you have to be. You just made a choice. It may seem like a small step, but it was a big move.

When we were growing up there were days there was no food, buts somehow my mother could prepare a meal with rice and margarine, and it tasted like fine cuisine. There were days when we lived on hope and a prayer. We lived, we grew, we overcame our challenges. Yes, my mother was employed as a teacher, but there are many who are employed living in a state of poverty. There is a cost to living and a cost to working. For many, the very basic necessities are not covered with the minimum wage or their basic pay, yet they work. They get up and go out to work,because the possibility of being in a worse present is worth the sacrifice. It is but for a short time. Something else is on the horizon, and being out there makes it easier to be seen, and distinguished. I can attest to that. Look at what hope and a prayer and action is able to do each day. We - my sisters and I, all lived and grew up. The moments of  our deepest struggles can be the fuel needed for the biggest battles to be faced. Victory is greatest when you move beyond into what may be only a dream and a wish to be uncovered.

Live each day, and love each moment.

I hope these words will inspire you today. Thank you for reading, your comments and sharing to those you hope to inspire by these words.

Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER with appropriate and specific direction to the original content

Tuesday, 27 September 2016

Bee Social Bee Happy


A Happy Day

This morning, I awoke and I'm happy. What is different about today may not appear significant to someone, but to me its extra special. I'm not sure what is going to be different but expect a great day. To be awake means another day to be the same or be different.




Some things can look the same, but when you look closer the differences are facing you.


You can find what you seek, and you can be who you want to be. That's within your control.







Its time to BEE SOCIAL...



Just warming up to more.. Bee Social





As you cool down, remember to Bee Social....




When each day is over, and we reflect, we can see how much sun and light came into our day, or how much darkness blocked our sun. We can see hope or we can feel helpless.



Sometimes what appears to be falling is actually giving you a change to stop, and take shade. Maybe it's all part of the lessons in our lives. I don't have all the answers. None of us do!

Find the beauty in the things you may never see again - like a baby learning to walk, or the man around the corner asking for a little help. They are in your life for a reason, even if you don't capture the moments. This is your life. Take it, and give something good in return. Be happy, be blessed, be true.

I choose to be happy, while I am here on this beautiful earth.

Thank you for reading, commenting and sharing. Words can make a positive difference to someone when we share.

Be Social with me and others join and share on Bee Social Hive..


BE INSPIRED....



Credits:
YouTube: Firas Lamouchi - One Call Away
YouTube: Carl's Old Record Club- Wherever I lay my hat that's my home
YouTube: American Authors - The best days of my life
YouTube : emimusi-: Bobby McFerrin - Don't Worry Be Happy.!!!





I’m a Business Development Consultant with over thirty years experience in sales marketing and brand /market/ customer service. I’ve started and operated a regional distribution company for over seven years in HVAC supply & distribution. Sponsorships, seminars, training and promotional activities are part of my portfolio developed over the years. If you have a challenge, it can be resolved. For consultation contact dwordslayer@gmail.com


Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER with appropriate and specific direction to the original content







Friday, 16 September 2016

Feel Like Smiling: Right Blog


Fun Alert...

If you don't want to smile,
don't want to kick off your shoes
and hold that broomstick (or pen) like a microphone
If you don't want to forget the things that make you want to scream
If you don't want to do the unthinkable
And Bee Happy

Then this post will make you puke...
There is hope
There is happiness
There is silliness
There is that smile
and laughter
and it just can't wait to come out...

...If I got locked away (would you miss me hahaha)










.. and when silly gets me warmed up for the second round

Can you love me if I'm different..



Then I get all fuzzy after rapping... Where Is the Love



...and now a glass of red citrus juice with UB40 wine aged to perfection...I'm having grapes in a bottle!


Hope your lunch hour, brunch moment or hectic evening slows and you smile. Maybe its night and you're working late, and maybe its just time to .... Bee Social !


Bee Social...





Relax and enjoy this moment. Music like people can be different, but most are as sweet as honey!

                            Make Happiness a Choice
                         Bee Social




YouTube Credits :Mauhli - Locked Away Lyrics - R. City ft. Adam Levine
YouTube Credits :Meghan Trainor - I'm Gonna Lose You Featuring John Legend
YouTube Credits : Swen Plays - I gotta feeling - Chipmunks version
YouTube Credits: Black Eye peas- Where Is The Love
YouTube Credits: Dan Lancelot - Steel Drums UB40 Red Red Wine by Dano's Islands Sounds



Thursday, 15 September 2016

Eating Anyone?



Case: The belly growls

One of the best ways to learn is from experience. To gain experience you have to perform an action, and sometimes you may feel uncomfortable. Sometimes you decisions are winners and sometimes you just mess up. Its okay to fail, and its okay to not be happy with the results, but what's not okay, is to not try. I've been called unconventional, and bold, but its how this passion for execution works with me. Breaking the rules have taught me more than toeing the line. Here is my first installment on cases for consideration in management from real events, real people, and real action!



The security guard opened the gate. The clock on the dashboard gazed back at me 4:15am. As I drove into the compound, there were 2 vehicles waiting, their drivers jumped out.

"Good morning Boss", the first guy said as he approached my jeep.

"Hey, morning Boss, I was here first can I leave as soon as possible. Today its a long run." The second man looks at me with a smile, as he gets closer.

"Good morning Diego, good morning Devin. Glad you guys are here. This morning I have a surprise. Please have some breakfast before you leave, there is a lot - so enjoy." As I looked at the guys their shock and amazement is heart-breaking. "Here, can you give me a hand with those bags in the back and go easy with the trays."

They both stand still, gazing at me as though they had seen a ghost.
Devin is the first to speak, "Boss, are you serious. You brought us breakfast. Wow, no one has ever done that before, and I've been here five years. You for real? But you are the Boss."

Diego just stands, looking at me. As I look at him he looks away. We get into the building and the rest of the guys enter, and are all looking stunned by everything they see.

"Guys, you are my team. Every single one of you are part of my team. On my watch, you eat every morning before you go out there. If you can be sure of one thing every day, is breakfast from this company. It's nothing fancy, just basic sandwich or cookies and coffee or juice every morning." As I look around the rest of my team are there listening. Those faces don't look as happy as I had hoped they would be. They looked shocked. Dumbfounded. Not happy.

Diego is the first to speak, " Boss we are just surprised. You don't know us. You've not been here long, and yet you are being good to us. I'm not ashamed to say, no one has ever woken up and made breakfast for me before I come to work, and I have a wife. No one really cares if I eat, because we just have to go and make the money for the company. Yes we are paid, but its sometimes not enough to live, and we're hungry hoping someone will share their bread with us. Some customers share food with us sometimes. So we shocked. But thanks Boss. I appreciate it."

One by one the others come up to me, with shy smiles, some with blank face and glassy eyes, trying not to show emotion. They have their pride and its important they don't feel less as men because they have less. We go into the building and I lay the counter with coffee, tea, cocoa, milk, sugar. I'm trying not to look at them, because I'm not sure I want them to see how choked up I feel. As I uncover the trays and turn on the kettle,  a squeal erupts from another member of staff, "Look at how fantastic this all is. I could eat it all."
Another voice jumps in, " No, no Francis, you can take last, you are too greedy!" The guys  are busy commenting, joking and laughing but no one comes forward to eat. To get the guys started I pray out loud, "Thank you God for this meal. Bless the food, the guys and the business. Amen. Get cracking guys, and take any extras for lunch. Your trucks need to be out by 4:45am latest!

Managing  and the meal

There are many things I learnt from managing a distribution team, but the one thing which stays with me is how a simple act of kindness can impact of the lives of those we lead. It makes good business sense to know your staff and the environment they have to operate within. Expecting peak performance from members of the team who may be distracted by a lack of the basic necessities is foolhardy. What drew my attention to this need was observing the look of hunger on one of the guys one morning. I asked a few questions discretely, checked their earnings and did the math myself.

While we cannot be responsible for all their basic needs, sometimes its important to evaluate remuneration packages and seek ways to increase employee comfort to optimize performance. There are some things which help increase the overall value package offered by an organization, which won't break the bank. In many instances, when employees talk about their place of work, if you listen closely, its the things that are not included in the pay package which are highlighted.

Be an employer who cares about the welfare of staff. You can show interest without creating huge obligations which cannot be upheld.

Every time I think about those guys I smile. The genuine appreciation was worth much more than the thirty-five dollars to take care of my team daily. When I needed them to do more they would never grumble, but step up!

Maybe I have it all wrong, but I think leading with compassion and kindness won't make you weak, but can inspire your team to want to be loyal and to enjoy coming to work. This team thought I was 'dread' ( means no nonsense and tough), but felt I was fair most times - based on feedback!

Share your thoughts, on this case, and maybe how you would deal with a similar situation.


*** This post was written for the All Business Hive on beBee  for discussion, as the focus is to share business experiences.

I'm a Business Development Consultant with over thirty years experience in sales marketing and brand /market/ customer service. I've started and operated a regional distribution company for over seven years in HVAC supply & distribution. Sponsorships, seminars, training and promotional activities are part of my portfolio developed over the years. If you have a challenge, it can be resolved. For consultation contact dwordslayer@gmail.com

Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER with appropriate and specific direction to the original content