D-WORDSLAYER

Mr. Achilles and my heel! I had to see a new doctor today for an evaluation. I’m just so tired of having to rehash  November, 2014. I’d like to forget it. Every time I think I’ve crossed that bridge, someone asks that innocent question – so tell me what happened? Yes, big girls cry. Big men cry to. Crying children get lots of cuddles and support. Us, big folks, we try to go undercover, with the sunshades, or silly excuses.  Sometimes we get a cuddle, or that look that says, “grow some balls, you’re too big to still cry.” Avoidance may not be the solution but I’m not sure rehashing the past over and over makes any sense . Hmm, but why the tears, I wonder. I like being considered strong, fierce, and kickass capable of fixing anything. How do you move from the flying hero zone to the flipside of a small sentence. Whatever happened to my resilience, bouncing back, more than a cat with nine lives. Hmm, I’m guessing  Mr. Achilles found my heel and took great pleasur...

To Give…. ( This was written a few months ago. For whatever the reason, today I'm publishing, and hope you are inspired to live! ) We are here for more than one purpose . I firmly believe that Jesus Christ died for me, you and everyone. Some may believe the same, and some may not. I love you all. What would l like my legacy to be, came crashing in almost two years ago. I felt that if I should die, I have not given enough, done enough, or loved enough. My thoughts were not on how much more money I need for bills, or the millions I wish I had in a bank account for my kids… no I simply wanted to have given more than I have. That thought hurt . The thought that I may not be around to give was building within me as I wrote. I needed in some way to share my heart, for others who could see, could give others their heart, making hearts that much bigger. A way of being of service. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder can make death seem imminent.  If someone did not ...

A  Tumultuous Time All that I want is gone for now. Welcome the free world calls… I would like to write about happy experiences.  The things which make me smile. The ocean’s waves, playing with my feet, the bluest sky favoring me with the yellow sunlight. Entrepreneurship, mentoring, sales, business development, marketing are hidden in my cache as my focus is on the present.  We cannot feel for what we have, those emotions are left for what is lost. There is a throbbing in my right arm pit that does not leave me. My right scapula in my back hurts an indescribable pulsing pain, which rises and falls unexpectedly. The pain in my shoulder and the scar all seven inches reminds me that life can change at any moment. The tingling in my fingers as they tap the keys on the laptop, my right hand shaking as the swelling starts reminds me my hour has past. Breaking does not  happen  when you are struck from behind by a car which sends you up, and then down onto ...

Life is not a game! Going through my drafts I came upon this . Two verses were used in another article, the words are now all awaiting their turn for sharing. It's the thoughts of a leader injured on the job and an organisation's determination to avoid association with the liability. Everything which is not positive gets hidden in the corporate world if possible. Injuries on the job are not noted when staff are urged not to make police reports, or to keep their jobs- be silent! ISO and OSHA standards are of no value if not enforced. Fear can keep the 'thoughtful strong' quiet and make the weak strong in understanding. No admonishments, just acceptance. If life is a game at work the stakes are higher than the prize.  Do you leave your men when they fall   Do you leave your men when they fall in battle Do you take them to the front yet walk away when they fall their eyes are open and heart beating still do you cross over turn away when they touch the ground ...

I still don't understand PTSD fully.  What I do understand is the feeling which sometimes creeps up. It makes the world seem different for a while. It can be like seeing reality in a different way. During awareness it can be hostile. It's easy to give up control if unaware or absent when time shifts. Breathing helps, and writing. Keeping calm and focused is not as easy as it can seem.  PTSD in absentia Breathe out..exhale Go slowly, wait Think less…pray more There is no freedom…in your sorrow Breathe in…wait Running fast will take you no where If you think, you can dream I want you to think, who you can be   Breathe in…exhale slow The world is not the one you know Let it out, the misery Breathe in…your life is free Moving fast will not take you there Go slowly, you have no fear   Breathe in..exhale slowly Let the rhythm feel your heartbeat moving Take all the time you need Don’t shoulder the world Just let it be  Breathe out, exh...