D-WORDSLAYER: 2017

Unbreaking a broken heart

A heart full of hope...maybe

If I started to write maybe the words would make you sad, so the keys were avoided as I looked away. The ECG was supposed to be normal, its always normal until it was not.

Life has been a roller coaster for the past six or seven weeks, or maybe its longer. Somehow the 'rug of reality' was pulled from under me and I've forgotten how to speak. I've been speechless, or maybe that should be wordless. From being a woman of many words I'm now a woman filled with soo many words expressing seems a challenge.

Let me share the words
Which held my heart and hope
I've had a lifetime of everything coming my way
Bounced back when I fell
Never gave up on the dream
Never stopped believing
Had everything hidden in my dreams.

I'm facing a reality, which has my health in a twist
I'm also living a family disaster
With my littlest kid
Looking from the outside and trying to share what's within
But those tears won't let up
My heart is breaking from within

If I could get back a whole heart
If it could be pumping just right
If my heart could go back in time
And stop breaking from the inside.
I've got the bottles of pills
And I've got the gadgets to check the ticks
Wising I could unbreak a broken heart
Just fix it with a wish

Let me share the words
Maybe you can understand
This writing and unhappy words
Is getting me more than sad.
Life is to be lived for as long as you can see the sun
Therefore with all the days I may have
Hoping my heart will unbreak with some love!

Heart Health

I've never thought much about a healthy heart. I've just assumed that ticker would keep ticking for as long as I lived, and not necessarily that I will live as long as the ticker keeps ticking. Hmm, so this is why I've been absent suddenly.

By the time the doctors have to take a look sometimes the damage is really bad. I'm glad mine seems to be not as bad as it sounded. The lifestyle changes though, are necessary to keep that ticker moving as it should. What a scare. This my friends is life, and we really have to roll with the punches. I'm just saying bring it on, because I've got to be as ready as a boxer. I've got to be as ready as Muhammed Ali .(Smile)

Taking care of the emotional aspect of the heart is just as important. Stress is much more than a word. Just as calm and time out are necessary parts of a busy life. Whatever you do, understanding life and a healthy lifestyle is important. So now, I have another journey to add to my roadmap. I'm uncertain, and maybe walking blindly, towards a hope I'm hoping to see in this lifetime.

Keep the faith... I still believe in miracles !

Thank you for your time. You are precious and important to you and me!

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Life can be a 'butt' sometimes!

Life can be like a big butt sometimes. Its a weight you were born to carry that everyone sees and can comment on, but only you get to carry. No one can take your load from you because its built on your frame and you have to work with what you got!(Dwordslayer,2017)

I spent most of my life so far feeling conscious that I have this 'trailer' of weight I carry around with me. Some folks think its great to have this 'big butt' but it can make one the 'butt of jokes' and the person who stands out in the crowd for all the wrong reasons. My perception was not the reality of others who expressed their pleasure at the very thing which caused me anguish!

Growing up I tried to hide my derriere, and eventually gave up. We live in a sexist world where women and now men, are seen superficially and esthetics are important to getting noticed. Being noticed for all the wrong reason can damage confidence and self esteem, so its important to learn how to change the image others see by changing the image you see when you look in the mirror.

Butt Inspired!

Sometimes the aha moment comes with the most unrealistic thoughts, yet the message is easy to understand. I have spent the past 3 months facing some life defining moments with 'deja vu' emotions surfacing. I've been writing in my head, but not in a tangible way, where sharing is possible. I've been reading more and taking a back seat enjoying the view from behind (smile)! There is a lot one can hear when you listen without speaking, or hoping to get a word in. The same is true when communicating online. People read, absorb, have an opinion and don't share. I've discovered many of my readers who enjoy reading my words, and suddenly when there is nothing new published, they reach out.

Not everyone wants to share or even say they appreciate you when they do. The way life is for some people, its safer observing and not speaking yet being silently grateful. They share your stories and even like you anonymously, but need that shield of protection for themselves. This may sound strange, yet its relatable, if we understand differences in human behavior and individuality.

A zebra has stripes and a big butt, yet the beauty we see is not in the size of the 'butt'! The originality of the species with a natural merging of opposites in color on one body is magnificent. Its easy to appreciate what stands out even when its different.

Imagine the life of the zebra with a big butt and a tail, and how it moves effortlessly. Its okay because from birth it carries that weight naturally. Everyone close by looks the same so acceptance is easy. If there was one butt-less zebra he may be ostracized, or maybe the stripes would be enough for inclusion. The stripes are not perfectly formed however when you look at its appearance there is uniformity. This is how it should be with the human race.

Getting to the butt of the matter

We all carry what bothers and burdens us differently. Actually, what bothers me many not bother you and vice versa. Taking a look from another position can change the way we see life and can be quite hilarious. Its also quite sobering to realize that life is what we carry the way we choose to lift it. There is a simple phrase I recall hearing while growing up. "Don't look at your burdens, instead count your blessings one by one and watch them grow." I'm not sure of the origin of these wise words, but the truth in their meaning is timeless.

While I tried to hide the butt I carried for many years, it was visible for all to see. Some folks paid compliments while others made snide and cruel remarks. Everyone saw that anatomical part differently, but I had to carry it on my terms and in my own way. Acceptance of myself started with me.

Life can really be a butt sometimes, so you might as well dress it up. Keep focused on what's important to you, and as you carry your load, smile. Everything feels better when you smile, and laugh at yourself!

Have a cookie!

Thank you for reading, sharing and commenting.You are appreciated!

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Credits:Image - pixabay.com

Yesterday Was...

Yesterday was...

It has been a difficult journey, but it has an end. Maybe, I should not consider it an end but a continuation. I met a very beautiful woman yesterday. She has challenges after an injury ‘on the job’, and it appears compassion is in short supply at her place of employment.

As she spoke, I listened. Sometimes that’s all anyone really wants. Someone to share their story with, and maybe hoping for some inspiration and advice on moving forward.

We cannot live in the past, and must move forward, always. Looking back should simply be just that - a rear view glance, with eyes quickly moving forward. Its okay to be broken for a moment. That is the past. The present means getting up and accepting the ‘new you’. If you are fortunate after an accident and still employed, count your blessings.

Life should not be so hard when the unexpected happens, but it is. Embrace your today, and know your future will be brighter!

In Peace

( From Advocacy Anonymous Sunday 9th July, 2017)

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Aging and not wasting time, talents and thankfulness

After seeing gray hairs, I'm thinking!

I'm aging. We all are. From the time of our birth we are aging to the point of death. That's the reality of life.

I looked at a recent photograph of me and I'm amazed...yes. God sure understands creation and is a creative inventor. Everyone has a talent and its important to discover your unique talent and grow with it.

There are days I think that God broke the beautiful mold he had for me and then I look around and see so many beautiful people I think maybe he has one (1) m...old. It makes a lot of sense if we are "in his image and likeness" that our creator has a mold for the human race and the stuff on the outside is to help us - not him- recognize each other. Thus if we pursue hating others we are in fact hating ourselves and our creator.

Our beauty is in our uniqueness a

nd not in the shade of our skin or our religious and social beliefs.
I'm not a philosopher or a preacher. I'm not a theology or religious graduate. I am a lover of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and I am human. If you cut me, blood will run from my veins and I will feel pain. I can cry, laugh, dance and sing, and I do pray that I can forgive and love those I interact with if we disagree or fall out.

I am aging, and you my friend are aging with me. We are another moment older right now. When world leaders shout words of hate we should let our voices raise with words of love. Do not hate the hater soo much you become like him. We have limited time here of earth to discover and develop our talents... so get going.

Remember, if you can look at someone and see yourself, it should be harder to promote the hatred around. Use wisdom, and remember not everyone will see as you do.
Don't hate the player hate the game and the way they decide to play their game!

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Dealing with Personal Irrelevant Biases

Family Life

Today it dawned on me how uncomfortable it can be loving people. Actually, its more about loving those members of my family whom I love and desire to share some happy moments with. My eldest son advised that "our family is the new normal, so your ideas of normal are outdated." He is right.

In the movies we are presented with different types of families and situations which appeal to our senses. These images do impact on our perception of truth and can influence our expectations. I like looking at happy movies, and find it difficult to watch the uncomfortable stories. The horror dramas like 'Fatal Attraction', and 'Homeland' and many others, are based on some real stories that disturb and shake our emotions.

Life is not an ideal perfect. Yet we expect perfection from our family members and can hold them to unreasonable expectations. My mother and father divorced at an early age and I grew up in a single parent household. Instead of appreciating and seeing the strengths in my mother, I became resentful over time. Always wanting to not be in a similar situation. Mental illness was a battle my mother fought, and was able to rise above long enough for us to be able to handle life on our own. To this day she still struggles with it.

Having discovered that life is not neatly configured like a set of jigsaw pieces neatly fitting in place, but rather lots of broken pieces which won't fit into any set pattern, I can appreciate my mother more now.

Life can come full circle to teach us lessons of humility, forgiveness and love. Having thought I failed as a parent to give 'my children my idea of the perfect family' my son corrected me on that score one day a few years ago.

" What are you talking about mom. Listen you have a strange idea of family and what's respectable. We have a normal family. Everyone doing what they do and being a part of this family makes our family. This is the new normal. Every family has illness, black sheep, boring folks and crazy ones, and its all a part of the drama of family. Get out of your head... we have a normal family!" These are the words as closely as I remember shared by my eldest son.

So yes. What I was taught as a traditional perfect family, never really was, now I think about it. I am so grateful for my family and my life.

I carried many biases, and beliefs of thoughts of perfection for many years and the truth is, we all get a chance to create and make the best relationships and family culture based on our own input. Traditions can become a heavy weight we do not need to hold onto. Create your own traditions and break away from biases which can be a 'self inflicted pain in the ...(you know what)!

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Just Thinking Out Loud: It will all work out!

A momentary reflection

"Things have a way of working out..."

For many years I shared this sentiment with one of my sisters when life's challenges presented itself. It has become a profound and deep thought we both share to each other as uplifting advice when solutions are not easily seen.

There is a lot of truth within the 7 words and today I reminded myself of this. Whatever you start to do will be completed. Even if the completion is not as planned or happens when you are ready, an end takes p...lace. For an easy example let me share;

" I visited the hairdresser and wished for red/burgundy hair and I have that color. I also did not want the color to seep onto my clothes. Well it did seep onto my clothes for a few weeks and its still seeping much less. She advised of this happening and I went ahead knowing the possible outcome, but decided it was worth it. Today I am no longer fussing about the red temporary stain on my pillow, its easy to wash off!"

So I got my hair color and a 'mindset change' and it worked out because time has worked on me and my ability to live with my hair choices.

In our lives we do things and make choices many times without experience. Sometimes the unexpected happens, and maybe we don't have the answers and we're not prepared, but at some point we must move from where we are 'in our mind' to where reality takes us. That my friends is when, "things have a way of working out"!

So relax and face each moment of each day knowing that time is the advantage of no one and everyone!

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Musings of a mother-in-law to be - Break it to me gently!

“Mom, I’m getting married at the end of next month!”

That’s how my beloved first child, my son, told me of his upcoming nuptials. He did not sit me down and give me some tea, or even a glass of water. No way, he just ‘dropped it like it was hot’. It was decisive and a done deal.

Us mums are not to be mistaken for the flowers called ‘mums’, sitting calmly and nicely waiting to be watered to bloom. We bloom within chaos and calm! I was stunned. It should have been expected but I guess there was that illusion of innocence allowed to cloud my vision. We know our babies will become men and women and leave us. In my case, I’ve been hoping I can leave them in like manner before they do the wedding march.

Mum and son conversation

“Son I really want to get married. Was waiting for you guys to grow up, but can’t seem to meet anyone. Maybe its too late, am I too old?”

Son looks up in the air and then at mum, “ well I guess you won’t meet anyone within this house so you need to go where you will meet people!” Gives his mum a ‘duh’ look of amazement!

I get it. As a single parent my focus has been on finances, children, and a thousand other things. Eventually they do grow up and walk in the direction of their choices. I get it. This is how life is supposed to be. So why does it feel like somehow an earthquake just shook my house?

Life of three turned 2 a few years ago, for a while. I recall another conversation with my eldest son.

“Son, I don’t see much of your brother anymore. He is always either by his girlfriend or work or out. He doesn’t even eat home much. Maybe its time to talk to him about the birds and the bees?

Son looks at mum incredulously, then responds “he is over 21, and has moved in with his girlfriend over 6 months mum. Didn’t you notice he was gone when he left with his computer?”

Mum responds, “ know he likes to ‘play game’ on his computer and thought he just took it to her place to ‘play game’. Thought that’s what they were doing.

Son looks at mum in total amazement and says, “ so you really think your son, my brother , is visiting his girlfriend and ‘playing game’ all the time for the last 6 months? Don’t worry about that ‘birds and bees talk’, think he figured it out a long time ago!”

Life is really about the birds

Okay, I get it. Maybe I’m not the thinking clearly with my children, but the years pass so fast and suddenly they are adults. Us mums are great with change, we have to be to survive the growing pains of our lives and that of our children. Now, the nest looks empty with no more eggs to hatch. What can the birds teach us human mums?

The mummy birds are good with teaching their kids to fly and moving on. They hang around until their babies’ wings are developed and sometimes push them out of the nest. The young ones are suddenly mid-air and have little choice but to flap their wings frantically calling for help. As they do that, they realize they don’t need help because they are flying. The mummy birds are usually close-by to help, but don’t step in. They know for survival in this world, everyone needs to fly!

My big question to me is, “why didn’t he break it to me gently?” and responding to myself the answer, “he’s been dating for over four years the same chick… duh!”

Its almost time for some readjustment, and soon it will be my time to fly alone. Only one more bird in the nest and that one is begging to fly at 20!

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The past is best left alone!

Keeping the past locked away in the past.
The temptation to look back and wish is easy, especially when only good memories are at the front of your mind. Remember the past is 'what was' and the present is 'what is .' The future will be whatever you want it to be. Keep moving forward.

I wrote the above recently and shared via Facebook. It was triggered when a friend of mine shared her thoughts on a matter and someone I knew for a long time was mentioned. When I hear his name my heart still beats fast, but a hurt and sad feeling soon follows.

Not all relationships are good. Not all relationships are worth saving. If someone cannot love you for who you are, don't try to be who they want. You can only be the best you, and anything else is a poor imitation of the beauty you are.

Love happens when we are young and we can become idealistic when it does not mature as we wish. In fact, sometimes we forget the flaws and focus on the dreams. Dreams are exactly as we want them to be when it comes to love. The illusion of perfection and happily ever after is always best when there is no 'real ending'.

For many years I held a door open. Even when it was closing there was a space and it stood ajar, with hope and wishful thinking. So many years after, when reality struck, it was like a glass of ice water covered in roses. The beauty was on the surface, but the ice running through the veins burned. It finally melted the past with its cool clear reflection. What was left was a broken heart of dreams.

Reality is good to face.

Looking back at what 'might have been or maybe' is actually not seeing what is real. Its not good to go to that place and its even worse to wish. Thus, press forward always and be happy knowing you have a past which was good while it lasted.

You are wonderfully and perfectly made - as am I.

Thank you for reading, sharing and commenting. You are appreciated!

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Life and Lemonade

Thankful for Lemonade

Seems like I know a lot of sick/ ill folks.

Sometimes life throws us lots of lemons, and after making lemonade, you get tired. This is the reality of prolonged illness or disability. I've found its a lot easier to smile and laugh in the face of challenges and pain. It does get better because out tolerance is heightened with our effort to improve our state of being.

As I think about the funny stuff I've seen, and the way I feel looking at others smile, I realize the only difference in happiness is choice.

We can gripe about a lot of stuff... and everyone can outdo each other in the 'woe is trouble' department. However, I've been doing a silent challenge this year, and maybe you can try it.

The Challenge

Look in the mirror and laugh at yourself. Be self- depreciating about your crooked teeth, or squinty eyes, or big butt! I have all sometimes. But find a way to laugh at you. Lighten up.

There are a lot of folks out there with serious problems and medical challenges. Don't sweat the small stuff - or big butt - I'm obsessed with that:-) Whatever is imperfect in your eyes is perfect in the eyes of another.

As for the lemonade, just be thankful you are alive to get something and keep making that juice!

Be blessed and encouraged!

A short brief about me: I’m a corporate business veteran, with practical experience in a diverse range of industries — Safety/ HVAC / FMCG /Industrial Equipment /and much more . Sales ,Marketing, Business Development & Coaching are combined to deliver over 30 years experience. As an entrepreneur and blogger (Dwordslayer) I’m right now living an adventure, and looking forward to the next opportunity to challenge mediocrity.

Thank you for reading, sharing and commenting. You are appreciated!

paypal.me/dlewordslayer

Find me on: Twitter https://twitter.com/DLE41 or email:dwordslayer@gmail.com

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Musings on a wedding happening soon

Marriage is treated as a concept from the past. Its become a watered down version to commitment to many with divorce preparations as part of the wedding plan.

My son is getting married and I am damn proud. I'm as pleased as punch that he has 'stepped up' and decided to make that forever after commitment. I'm even more pleased that he is deeply in love with his wife to be and ready to make it work forever after.

At this point, I'm taking as much kudos and 'back-slapping' for raising my son right. Hell yes! He is a great son and an even better man. He has developed a strong back bone and excellent work ethic when it comes to taking care of his family. He is humble and sincere in his dedication to us all, and God sure blessed me when I decided to have him. I have no regrets, and would have him the same way, in the same circumstances, because he is who he is because of all we have been through.

My heart is a bit sad though because now someone else will be his main focus and I am not quite ready for the changes to come. Nevertheless, I am confident that my son will make his wife an excellent husband. He won't be perfect, but he will be the very best he can be, and that's a lot more than most men in this world. I'm his mum and I'm allowed to be biased!

When we raise our children, there is that hope that they will become people of commitment and good purpose, at least that is how I imagine most mums think. Being a mum is much harder than being most things, and its the only role where the outcome is not based on what we do but the way our children make their choices. We are happy once they are happy.

I prayed for this day, and now it is here, I am grateful to see him walk towards his next chapter, and wave me towards my own.

Children are a blessing, and I have been blessed abundantly to be a mum.

A short brief about me: I’m a corporate business veteran, with practical experience in a diverse range of industries — Safety/ HVAC / FMCG /Industrial Equipment /and much more . Sales ,Marketing, Business Development & Coaching are combined to deliver over 30 years experience. As an entrepreneur and blogger (Dwordslayer) I’m right now living an adventure, and looking forward to the next opportunity to challenge mediocrity.

Thank you for reading, sharing and commenting. You are appreciated!

paypal.me/dlewordslayer

Find me on: Twitter https://twitter.com/DLE41 or email:dwordslayer@gmail.com Credits:Image - pixabay.com

Grow into the best you:Create a career story you are proud to own

‘Homeless to Harvard’ is the 2003 Movie - ‘ Liz Murray’ story which inspires me when I need a reminder that my life is good. We need a reminder sometimes, because even your rock bottom can be bested by another.

What matters most can sometimes be hidden behind survival mode. On other occasions the action of surviving is the trigger which explodes, fueling our passions. Our dreams can breathe life at these times. There is nothing quite as powerful as climbing a hill when you leave nothing behind. The same can be said for climbing when you know you have everything to return to.

The things which act as catalysts to success are different for everyone. Here are (3)from my past I remember fondly;

1. The ‘adrenalin rush’. We were not rich, but my mother always found a way to ensure we survived. She was a teacher and published an anthology of poems ‘My Fist Fifty’ when I was twelve years old. I thought she was a star for doing so, and greatly admired her ambitious drive. I’m not sure when I decided to ‘hustle’ my mom but I did. She agreed to give me 20 books to sell ,just for me ( bought my first pair of Jordache Jeans)- if I helped her going door to door conducting sales. She had 500 copies and there were 500 at a major bookstore who sponsored the book in part. We went on weekends to some affluent neighborhoods and within a couple months, every copy was sold. When I sold my books I tried to get more than what she charged for her copies (adrenalin pumped by the hustle). What does a school teacher know about making money (I also had a big ego)? She thought it was not possible, and I thought it was. Guess who won

2. The sheer determination of accomplishing the unthinkable when the odds say NO. If you get my back up against the wall I will find a way through that wall! I recall negotiating for the very best technical trainer my supplier had, and convincing him to work with me on a certificate conference session in 2010. There were 80 persons attending the session from 6 Caribbean islands. They also registered for two days at a trade fair we exhibited at, and it was a filled 4 day affair. Whoever thinks that a huge budget is necessary to pull off the impossible needs to get creative. From a gala hotel distributor dinner night, to a few hours on the beach at the end, and training and tradeshow in between - it all happened. I was also a facilitator, driver and sandwich maker . Yes- dream big and live to execute.

3. Taking a risk and being a small fish in a big ocean swimming into the great unknown! I don’t think small, never could. The same energy it takes to think big, is the same to think small — don’t waste time. Going beyond where you are to accomplish the impossible is possible.

What are you prepared to do to prove to YOU that you are capable? I was ridiculed for my lack of academic accomplishments, and insulted for attending an interview which I was invited (by a company director)to apply for. It seemed no one in the room at the time, looked beyond my basic schooling. Then my audacity took hold, and I recall advising the interviewer and the others sitting with him, “It seems to me that you really need someone with my skillset and lack of academics. My expertise and proven ability is why I was invited to come. I’ve sold toothbrushes, medical supplies, film and other products. I’m sure I can sell your ‘capital goods’ aka industrial machinery and make your customers happy. Isn’t that why I was asked to come for this interview?” How do you think it ended? Yes, I was hired at that moment!

I can be badass bold when I’m riled up, but I believe it is possible to do anything you set your heart and mind to do. So what if you did not finish school, or don’t come from the best neighborhood? So what if you were a teen mom or dad, struggling to find yourself? Who you are is not who you will always be. Where you are is not where you will always be. You get to determine your destiny. Why not live a life you can feel inspired by. Its always up to you!

I’ve always wanted to attend Harvard. Simply could not afford it, and I had my babies to take of. We make our priorities and choices. You don’t need to take the easy road and turn away from challenges. I did the next best thing. I read as many articles as I could find on Business Operations, Entrepreneurship, Business Management, Marketing, Communication, Information Technology, Conflict Management, Risk Assessment, Sales, Consumer Behavior. When I was finally able to pursue a business diploma, it was not that difficult. When I started my MBA (a work in progress) I sailed through marketing and helped the folks in my group. The five core modules were completed during a very challenging time, and I had major surgery during one course.

Life is filled with challenges, and there are always reasons why we can’t pursue our dreams. Life is about growth and its about risk. Choose to grow ‘into’ who you are passionate to become.

I’m proud of my career to date. I’ve had many wins and a lot more losses than can be counted, but I took the chances and own those damm experiences! Its mine, and I’m always willing to add more. Own your career experiences & choices!

When you start sharing your story are there chapters with cliff hangers? Do you have the emotional dramas that still bring tears to your eyes? What about the chapters which were thrillers? Let’s never forget the chapters filled with moments of laughter, satisfaction and love. For many, your career is your life, and you get to write those chapters! Now go out there and live yours!

Special thanks to Sarah Elkins, Arnie McKinnis, John White, Chris Spurvey for holding me accountable to this blog!

If my story resonates with you please let me know. Thank you for reading and sharing!

Support the author: I've added my PayPal account , if wish to support my writing with any contribution. Its very safe and secure. You can choose to send any amount that you are comfortable with. Please check it out . Thank you!

paypal.me/dlewordslayer

Find me on: Twitter https://twitter.com/DLE41 or email:dwordslayer@gmail.com

Credits:Image — pixabay.com

Originally published at The Marketing and Growth Hacking Publication on May 14th, 2017

Have a Happy Daddy Day: A father but never a dad

It’s Father’s day once more, and I wonder about the man whose DNA is woven in my life. Last year, I shared my thoughts on being a DAD v Father, from my own life experiences. This year as I think about him, I hope he is okay wherever he is.

My father died on 13th June, 2013 of throat cancer My birthday is 14th June, and his was 15th June. He died as he lived, secretly not wanting any of his children (all daughters) scattered around the world to know. He died with his wife of thirty years (not my mom) and their daughter (my sister by his seed) close to him. He died afraid, trying to keep his secrets yet knowing they would all come out. He was a man, who was influenced by material things, status and the façade of ‘living a good life.’

Growing up I loved the man I thought my father was

It is difficult for a child of five years old to understand divorce and life, when it changes from a happy place to anger. My earliest memory of my father is of shouting and a fight between him and my mom. When they separated, my reality and fantasy worlds meshed, and I saw my father as a hero and my mom as a stand-in parent. For many years I listened to hateful words and disparaging comments about my father, and his lack of love for us, his four daughters. It would be many years before I realized, my mom was not the villain, or a default parent — she was the rock, the heart and loving soul of parenthood.

My father left us, my mother had a mental breakdown

My mother loved my father and his leaving made her crack — she had the first of a few major ones. We were placed in the local orphanage run by the Catholic Church for six months, because she was a teacher at the Catholic school. My father came to visit us there, on two occasions but never returned, because (as I would later discover) his new adventure and life ‘in London’ was now beginning.

My mother struggled with us financially, emotionally and yet she found the capacity to care for us, and raise us to be young women. My father was quite cunning and did eventually earn his fortunes, becoming quite wealthy. He never sent ‘child support’ as agreed by the court of thirty pounds per month, and my mother loved him too much to make the practical decision to force his hand. He was a master at manipulation and deception and played on her emotions whenever she wrote to him.

Reaching out as a grown-up

In the last decade, I was able to visit my father at his home in London on my business trips, and tried to establish a relationship with him. He assumed if anyone knew of his wealth we would make a claim to it, and this was not so. Sadly all his daughters around the world (six on my last discovery) wanted was his love, and he died without having the capacity to give what he did not have.

It was a privilege to spend the times I did with him and his family. His wife was warm and kind as was my sister, before he died. Finally my fantasy father became real, dispelling a childhood creation, a false representation of the real person. I also saw quite briefly, on a few occasions a look of remorse, quickly hidden by his bravado and sarcastic humor. He met my children, his grandchildren and appeared to be proud of having grandsons.

There are a lot of negative emotions a child learns when rejected by a parent. However, there is a lot we learn about love from rejection, and the value of it. There is a lot to learn from dysfunctional relationships and the lack of core relationships, the biggest lesson being –not to dwell and reside in negative sadness!

Understanding truth and complexity of life

I did not know my father, the man who for a short while loved my mother, married her, and then left us all. Father’s day reminds me of the hurt I felt when he died, because the opportunity and hope for a ‘dad’ died. I did grieve, cry and pray for him. We do not get to choose who our parents are, we come forth from a coupling and hopefully there is love.

Can I love the man who did not know how to love us? Can I love the father who chose to pursue his dreams at any cost? Can I love someone who did not understand the value and responsibility of life? The answer to these questions is yes. I can love him because he was a part of my life’s journey. He was my father, but he failed to become my dad. He died without finding the most precious wealth of all on earth — the love of his daughters. He died quite poor.

Happy Father’s day, and to the Dad’s — Happy Daddy’s Day. It’s about being more than a father graduate and become a dad. Be the best dad!

If my story resonates with you please let me know. Thank you for reading and sharing!

Find me on: Twitter https://twitter.com/DLE41 or email:dwordslayer@gmail.com

Credits:Image — pixabay.com

Originally published at dwordslayer.blogspot.com on June 18, 2017. Adapted June,2017

To Manchester and the world ...with love

Unity not fear!

" To allow extremists to take over our feelings and lives is to give them power. The behavior of the USA President does that. Extremists and people like that want to rule through terror. As a world people we are sad, devestated and inconsolably sorry for those who lost love ones. To be judged by someone who is afraid of terrorists, is not good, however to give their fear power is foolhardy."
(quote from Dwordslayer 4/6/2017)

I cried as I read and watched Ariana Grande's performance benefit for the victims of the horrific bombing at her concert recently.
As I lay on my bed, my thoughts flew to the families experiencing loss, and felt loss for them.
Hate brews hate. Hate brews war. Leaders who are autocratic and dictatorial, who push the boundaries of fear and division should never be made acceptable by allowing their rule. I feel this strongly.

These haters are few, yet they are encouraged by their power and twisted religious beliefs of Islam. Some are fueled by power and greed not religion. They are not many but the fear they encourage, perpetuate and instill are far reaching. Do we bow to the fear or stand up to it? We will stand, it will never be allowed to succeed.

Twitter has helped us to see who will divide and who will encourage unity. While all the world leaders were sending condolences and compassionate expressions of support their was one who sought to divide for his own gain. This man was quick to attack the Mayor of London - a man busy helping his people, with no time for childish bullying. That country leader did so for his personal gain, hoping it would influence the 'Muslim ban' all the USA courts have so far rejected. He is beyond words to describe despicable.

The war is not between the hard working civilians and citizens living in their countries. This war is one of power and extremism by those wishing for their beliefs and their doctrines to become a rule of law over many. This war starts in the minds of the powerful targeting the vulnerable people who are willing to place their trust in others. Power-mongers who hate others because of their religious beliefs, race, gender, and social status should never be encouraged to become leaders.

Looking towards that rainbow of hope

"Somewhere over the rainbow" is a song I learnt as a child. It was a song of hope and inspiration for me then. As I listened to Ariana Grande end her benefit concert with this song my tears returned. There were others crying, and we are united in loss, love, and hope.

To all the families in Manchester, London, England and the world who have lost someone through terrorism , had loved ones injured, I cannot imagine what you are going through. From my Caribbean island looking in just needed to say, you are not alone as you mourn. You are not alone as your tears fall from eyes swollen with pain. You are not alone ever.

So here is 'Somewhere over the rainbow' from ' One Love Manchester' :

and I just have to share this one because it says it all also;

You will never walk alone. This is the Liverpool Team song. Sprung from tragedy to strength, and hope.

Terrorism will never be allowed to win in this world. We will stand up to the extremists of all types. Hate will never win. Love will prevail!

Credits: YouTube , Gerry & The Pacemakers: You will never walk alone

Variety: Ariana Grande- 'Somewhere Over The Rainbow' -One Love Manchester benefit concert

Header image: pixabay.com

Dwordslayer, 2017

Music to my Mood - It speaks for itself!

I Look to you.
I sure look to my savior Jesus Christ when I feel the overwhelming hatred of the politics of the world and its negative impact on the people of the world. I sure feel for refugees / immigrants and displaced people, the homeless and those fighting to keep their families together and alive.

When You Believe.
Yes, I sure believe that we can be better people if we pause our busy lives and look closely at those we can bless with a miracle. Maybe it may seem hard if you think miracles can only come from God, but he has blessed your life with a heart which can be opened up if we allow it.

Maybe Heaven sent an Angel called you - I need an angel

When you figure out what you can do, keep it quiet. There is no need for the right hand to know what the left is doing. Just do it, without desiring accolades and enrichment. The joy of helping others and being an angel of love, hope, kindness, compassion and mercy. What could be greater, than being a blessing to others - nothing - in my opinion!

These are just some random thoughts with music from YouTube.

All credit for listening inspiration goes to be given to musicians, artists and persons uploading videos for our shared enjoyment.

Failing Up

There is only one ‘F’ word we fear as business people

The thing about life is we don’t ever know when we will succeed or when we will fail.

Yes, I’ve said it. The most difficult F word we try to avoid as business people is Fail. Its considered a negative word and one which should be replaced by a few words or phrases, such as “ it was an interesting period”, “ we did the best we could based on the circumstances”, or maybe we can simply say, “it was the result of an unexpected challenge.” Well let me change the way we admit when defeat happens. I failed. I thought I had all my bases covered, thought the challenges would eventually be overcome. I failed to prepare for the possibility I would need an exit strategy sooner than expected, and one day I had a head on crash.

Of course after the fact, there are many things I could have done better. At the time though, when the walls were closing in survival was not as important as not failing. That ‘F’ word happened but I gained much more than I expected from my experiences.

The next step is …UP

The greatest thing about being at the bottom of your business plan, is getting up and being ready for round 2. In a boxing match there are as many as 9 to 12 rounds and it can get really bloody and messy.

To be a successful business entrepreneur, you really need to get up and get going to the next round. Sometimes a referee will halt the match, allowing one of the fighters to get help and catch his breath. Take that opportunity and breathe, the business can wait, while you regroup and focus on the next round.

After a few moments for a boxer its time to jump back into the ring and give it your all. Even when the match is over, it does not mean the fight is over. It just means the person who lost has a chance to fight another opponent or to have a rematch. The loser may have failed the battle, but once his spirit is not broken, he gets back in and is ready for the next match. The businessman who has taken risks and lost, is the same one who can win the next time he takes a chance or invests in another opportunity.

I’ve finished one fight, and the battle scars are there. Its no longer a question of if I will fight again, but when I will be ready for my next business venture! This is it. I’m “failing up” and I’m going to hit the rings like I’m Muhammed Ali!

The Knock out punch

Here are somethings to remember when you land on the ground face first;

There is no reflection looking back at you. The ground only feels your presence. Get up, and sit for a moment. Take in your surroundings and have a cup of coffee as you do your brownie leg squat .
Find a mirror, and make sure you look at yourself daily. You are alive and its just another day in paradise. You took a chance, and the ride was great while it lasted. Time for a new ride!

Even with a gazillion bills, you need your health, so take a walk, go to the gym, plan some time out for you. At this point, you’re probably broke, but the nearest savannah is free. Walk because you can.

Everyone around you continues to do their job. Life has moved on, and you need to also. Don’t beat yourself up. You did well actually. You’re going to master the art of failing soo well you can convert that experience to ‘Failing Up!’

Only those privileged to face the floor can face the sky when getting up. Convert the missteps to something only experience can propel. Take your expertise to the next stage. Congratulations, you just Failed Up!

Feeling inspired, check the heart and let it click so I can see your heart glow :-) Thanks for being awesome!

A short brief about me: I’m a corporate business veteran, with practical experience in a diverse range of industries — Safety/ HVAC / FMCG /Industrial Equipment /and much more . Sales ,Marketing, Business Development & Coaching are combined to deliver over 30 years experience. As an entrepreneur and blogger (Dwordslayer) I’m right now living an adventure, and looking forward to the next opportunity to challenge mediocrity.

Thank you for reading, sharing and commenting. You are appreciated!

paypal.me/dlewordslayer

Find me on: Twitter https://twitter.com/DLE41 or email:dwordslayer@gmail.com

Credits:Image - pixabay.com

Originally published at The Marketing and Growth Hacking Publication on March 16th, 2017

D-WORDSLAYER

Unbreaking a broken heart

A heart full of hope...maybe

Life can be a 'butt' sometimes!

Butt Inspired!

Getting to the butt of the matter

Yesterday Was...

Aging and not wasting time, talents and thankfulness

After seeing gray hairs, I'm thinking!

Dealing with Personal Irrelevant Biases

Family Life

Just Thinking Out Loud: It will all work out!

A momentary reflection

Musings of a mother-in-law to be - Break it to me gently!

Mum and son conversation

Life is really about the birds

The past is best left alone!

Life and Lemonade

Thankful for Lemonade

The Challenge

Musings on a wedding happening soon

Grow into the best you:Create a career story you are proud to own

Have a Happy Daddy Day: A father but never a dad

Growing up I loved the man I thought my father was

My father left us, my mother had a mental breakdown

Reaching out as a grown-up

Understanding truth and complexity of life

To Manchester and the world ...with love

Unity not fear!

Looking towards that rainbow of hope

Terrorism will never be allowed to win in this world. We will stand up to the extremists of all types. Hate will never win. Love will prevail!

Music to my Mood - It speaks for itself!

Failing Up

There is only one ‘F’ word we fear as business people

The next step is …UP

The Knock out punch

Back as a human 2023

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