D-WORDSLAYER

A heart full of hope...maybe If I started to write maybe the words would make you sad, so the keys were avoided as I looked away. The ECG was supposed to be normal, its always normal until it was not. Life has been a roller coaster for the past six or seven weeks, or maybe its longer. Somehow the 'rug of reality' was pulled from under me and I've forgotten how to speak. I've been speechless, or maybe that should be wordless. From being a woman of many words I'm now a woman filled with soo many words expressing seems a challenge. Let me share the words Which held my heart and hope I've had a lifetime of everything coming my way Bounced back when I fell Never gave up on the dream Never stopped believing Had everything hidden in my dreams. I'm facing a reality, which has my health in a twist I'm also living a family disaster With my littlest kid Looking from the outside and trying to share what's within But those tears won't le...

Life can be like a big butt sometimes. Its a weight you were born to carry that everyone sees and can comment on, but only you get to carry. No one can take your load from you because its built on your frame and you have to work with what you got!(Dwordslayer,2017) I spent most of my life so far feeling conscious that I have this 'trailer' of weight I carry around with me. Some folks think its great to have this 'big butt' but it can make one the 'butt of jokes' and the person who stands out in the crowd for all the wrong reasons. My perception was not the reality of others who expressed their pleasure at the very thing which caused me anguish! Growing up I tried to hide my derriere, and eventually gave up. We live in a sexist world where women and now men, are seen superficially and esthetics are important to getting noticed. Being noticed for all the wrong reason can damage confidence and self esteem, so its important to learn how to change the image o...

Yesterday was... It has been a difficult journey, but it has an end. Maybe, I should not consider it an end but a continuation. I met a very beautiful woman yesterday. She has challenges after an injury ‘on the job’, and it appears compassion is in short supply at her place of employment. As she spoke, I listened. Sometimes that’s all anyone really wants. Someone to share their story with, and maybe hoping for some inspiration and advice on moving forward. We cannot live in the past, and must move forward, always. Looking back should simply be just that - a rear view glance, with eyes quickly moving forward. Its okay to be broken for a moment. That is the past. The present means getting up and accepting the ‘new you’. If you are fortunate after an accident and still employed, count your blessings. Life should not be so hard when the unexpected happens, but it is. Embrace your today, and know your future will be brighter! In Peace ( From  Advocacy Anon...

After seeing gray hairs, I'm thinking! I'm aging. We all are. From the time of our birth we are aging to the point of death. That's the reality of life. I looked at a recent photograph of me and I'm amazed...yes. God sure understands creation and is a creative inventor. Everyone has a talent and its important to discover your unique talent and grow with it. There are days I think that God broke the beautiful mold he had for me and then I look around and see so many beautiful people I think maybe he has one (1) m ... old. It makes a lot of sense if we are "in his image and likeness" that our creator has a mold for the human race and the stuff on the outside is to help us - not him- recognize each other. Thus if we pursue hating others we are in fact hating ourselves and our creator. Our beauty is in our uniqueness a nd not in the shade of our skin or our religious and social beliefs. I'm not a philosopher or a preacher. I'm no...

Family Life Today it dawned on me how uncomfortable it can be loving people. Actually, its more about loving those members of my family whom I love and desire to share some happy moments with. My eldest son advised that "our family is the new normal, so your ideas of normal are outdated." He is right. In the movies we are presented with different types of families and situations which appeal to our senses. These images do impact on our perception of truth and can influence our expectations. I like looking at happy movies, and find it difficult to watch the uncomfortable stories. The horror dramas like 'Fatal Attraction', and 'Homeland' and many others, are based on some real stories that disturb and shake our emotions. Life is not an ideal perfect. Yet we expect perfection from our family members and can hold them to unreasonable expectations. My mother and father divorced at an early age and I grew up in a single parent household. Instead of apprecia...

A momentary reflection "Things have a way of working out..." For many years I shared this sentiment with one of my sisters when life's challenges presented itself. It has become a profound and deep thought we both share to each other as uplifting advice when solutions are not easily seen. There is a lot of truth within the 7 words and today I reminded myself of this. Whatever you start to do will be completed. Even if the completion is not as planned or happens when you are ready, an end takes p ... lace. For an easy example let me share; " I visited the hairdresser and wished for red/burgundy hair and I have that color. I also did not want the color to seep onto my clothes. Well it did seep onto my clothes for a few weeks and its still seeping much less. She advised of this happening and I went ahead knowing the possible outcome, but decided it was worth it. Today I am no longer fussing about the red temporary stain on my pillow, its easy to wash off...

“Mom, I’m getting married at the end of next month!” That’s how my beloved first child, my son, told me of his upcoming nuptials. He did not sit me down and give me some tea, or even a glass of water. No way, he just ‘dropped it like it was hot’. It was decisive and a done deal. Us mums are not to be mistaken for the flowers called ‘mums’, sitting calmly and nicely waiting to be watered to bloom. We bloom within chaos and calm! I was stunned. It should have been expected but I guess there was that illusion of innocence allowed to cloud my vision. We know our babies will become men and women and leave us. In my case, I’ve been hoping I can leave them in like manner before they do the wedding march. Mum and son conversation “Son I really want to get married. Was waiting for you guys to grow up, but can’t seem to meet anyone. Maybe its too late, am I too old?” Son looks up in the air and then at mum, “ well I guess you won’t meet anyone within this house so you...

Keeping the past locked away in the past. The temptation to look back and wish is easy, especially when only good memories are at the front of your mind. Remember the past is 'what was' and the present is 'what is .' The future will be whatever you want it to be. Keep moving forward. I wrote the above recently and shared via Facebook. It was triggered when a friend of mine shared her thoughts on a matter and someone I knew for a long time was mentioned. When I hear his name my heart still beats fast, but a hurt and sad feeling soon follows. Not all relationships are good. Not all relationships are worth saving. If someone cannot love you for who you are, don't try to be who they want. You can only be the best you, and anything else is a poor imitation of the beauty you are. Love happens when we are young and we can become idealistic when it does not mature as we wish. In fact, sometimes we forget the flaws and focus on the dreams. Dreams are exactly as we...

Thankful for Lemonade Seems like I know a lot of sick/ ill folks. Sometimes life throws us lots of lemons, and after making lemonade, you get tired. This is the reality of prolonged illness or disability. I've found its a lot easier to smile and laugh in the face of challenges and pain. It does get better because out tolerance is heightened with our effort to improve our state of being. As I think about the funny stuff I've seen, and the way I feel looking at others smile, I realize the only difference in happiness is choice. We can gripe about a lot of stuff... and everyone can outdo each other in the 'woe is trouble' department. However, I've been doing a silent challenge this year, and maybe you can try it. The Challenge Look in the mirror and laugh at yourself. Be self- depreciating about your crooked teeth, or squinty eyes, or big butt! I have all sometimes. But find a way to laugh at you. Lighten up. There are a lot of folks out ...

Marriage is treated as a concept from the past. Its become a watered down version to commitment to many with divorce preparations as part of the wedding plan. My son is getting married and I am damn proud. I'm as pleased as punch that he has 'stepped up' and decided to make that forever after commitment. I'm even more pleased that he is deeply in love with his wife to be and ready to make it work forever after. At this point, I'm taking as much kudos and 'back-slapping' for raising my son right. Hell yes! He is a great son and an even better man. He has developed a strong back bone and excellent work ethic when it comes to taking care of his family. He is humble and sincere in his dedication to us all, and God sure blessed me when I decided to have him. I have no regrets, and would have him the same way, in the same circumstances, because he is who he is because of all we have been through. My heart is a bit sad though because now someone else w...

‘Homeless to Harvard’ is the 2003 Movie - ‘ Liz Murray’ story which inspires me when I need a reminder that my life is good. We need a reminder sometimes, because even your rock bottom can be bested by another. What matters most can sometimes be hidden behind survival mode. On other occasions the action of surviving is the trigger which explodes, fueling our passions. Our dreams can breathe life at these times. There is nothing quite as powerful as climbing a hill when you leave nothing behind. The same can be said for climbing when you know you have everything to return to. The things which act as catalysts to success are different for everyone. Here are (3)from my past I remember fondly; 1. The ‘adrenalin rush’. We were not rich, but my mother always found a way to ensure we survived. She was a teacher and published an anthology of poems ‘My Fist Fifty’ when I was twelve years old. I thought she was a star for doing so, and greatly admired her ambitious drive. I’m not su...

It’s Father’s day once more, and I wonder about the man whose DNA is woven in my life. Last year, I shared my thoughts on being a DAD v Father, from my own life experiences. This year as I think about him, I hope he is okay wherever he is. My father died on 13th June, 2013 of throat cancer My birthday is 14th June, and his was 15th June. He died as he lived, secretly not wanting any of his children (all daughters) scattered around the world to know. He died with his wife of thirty years (not my mom) and their daughter (my sister by his seed) close to him. He died afraid, trying to keep his secrets yet knowing they would all come out. He was a man, who was influenced by material things, status and the façade of ‘living a good life.’ Growing up I loved the man I thought my father was It is difficult for a child of five years old to understand divorce and life, when it changes from a happy place to anger. My earliest memory of my father is of shouting and a fight ...

Unity not fear! " To allow extremists to take over our feelings and lives is to give them power. The behavior of the USA President does that. Extremists and people like that want to rule through terror. As a world people we are sad, devestated and inconsolably sorry for those who lost love ones. To be judged by someone who is afraid of terrorists, is not good, however to give their fear power is foolhardy." (quote from Dwordslayer 4/6/2017) I cried as I read and watched Ariana Grande's performance benefit for the victims of the  horrific bombing at her concert recently. As I lay on my bed, my thoughts flew to the families experiencing loss, and felt loss for them. Hate brews hate. Hate brews war. Leaders who are autocratic and dictatorial, who push the boundaries of fear and division should never be made acceptable by allowing their rule. I feel this strongly. These haters are few , yet they are encouraged by their power and twisted religious beliefs of Isl...

I Look to you. I sure look to my savior Jesus Christ when I feel the overwhelming hatred of the politics of the world and its negative impact on the people of the world. I sure feel for refugees / immigrants and displaced people, the homeless and those fighting to keep their families together and alive. When You Believe. Yes, I sure believe that we can be better people if we pause our busy lives and look closely at those we can bless with a miracle. Maybe it may seem hard if you think miracles can only come from God, but he has blessed your life with a heart which can be opened up if we allow it. Maybe Heaven sent an Angel called you - I need an angel When you figure out what you can do, keep it quiet. There is no need for the right hand to know what the left is doing. Just do it, without desiring accolades and enrichment. The joy of helping others and being an angel of love, hope, kindness, compassion and mercy. What could be greater, than being a b...

There is only one ‘F’ word we fear as business people The thing about life is we don’t ever know when we will succeed or when we will fail. Yes, I’ve said it. The most difficult F word we try to avoid as business people is Fail. Its considered a negative word and one which should be replaced by a few words or phrases, such as “ it was an interesting period”, “ we did the best we could based on the circumstances”, or maybe we can simply say, “it was the result of an unexpected challenge.” Well let me change the way we admit when defeat happens. I failed. I thought I had all my bases covered, thought the challenges would eventually be overcome. I failed to prepare for the possibility I would need an exit strategy sooner than expected, and one day I had a head on crash. Of course after the fact, there are many things I could have done better. At the time though, when the walls were closing in survival was not as important as not failing. That ‘F’ word happened but I gain...