Skip to main content

Musings of a mother-in-law to be - Break it to me gently!


“Mom, I’m getting married at the end of next month!”

That’s how my beloved first child, my son, told me of his upcoming nuptials. He did not sit me down and give me some tea, or even a glass of water. No way, he just ‘dropped it like it was hot’. It was decisive and a done deal.

Us mums are not to be mistaken for the flowers called ‘mums’, sitting calmly and nicely waiting to be watered to bloom. We bloom within chaos and calm! I was stunned. It should have been expected but I guess there was that illusion of innocence allowed to cloud my vision. We know our babies will become men and women and leave us. In my case, I’ve been hoping I can leave them in like manner before they do the wedding march.


Mum and son conversation

“Son I really want to get married. Was waiting for you guys to grow up, but can’t seem to meet anyone. Maybe its too late, am I too old?”

Son looks up in the air and then at mum, “ well I guess you won’t meet anyone within this house so you need to go where you will meet people!” Gives his mum a ‘duh’ look of amazement!
I get it. As a single parent my focus has been on finances, children, and a thousand other things. Eventually they do grow up and walk in the direction of their choices. I get it. This is how life is supposed to be. So why does it feel like somehow an earthquake just shook my house?
Life of three turned 2 a few years ago, for a while. I recall another conversation with my eldest son.

Son, I don’t see much of your brother anymore. He is always either by his girlfriend or work or out. He doesn’t even eat home much. Maybe its time to talk to him about the birds and the bees?

Son looks at mum incredulously, then responds “he is over 21, and has moved in with his girlfriend over 6 months mum. Didn’t you notice he was gone when he left with his computer?”

Mum responds, “ know he likes to ‘play game’ on his computer and thought he just took it to her place to ‘play game’. Thought that’s what they were doing.

Son looks at mum in total amazement and says, “ so you really think your son, my brother , is visiting his girlfriend and ‘playing game’ all the time for the last 6 months? Don’t worry about that ‘birds and bees talk’, think he figured it out a long time ago!”

Life is really about the birds

Okay, I get it. Maybe I’m not the thinking clearly with my children, but the years pass so fast and suddenly they are adults. Us mums are great with change, we have to be to survive the growing pains of our lives and that of our children. Now, the nest looks empty with no more eggs to hatch. What can the birds teach us human mums?


The mummy birds are good with teaching their kids to fly and moving on. They hang around until their babies’ wings are developed and sometimes push them out of the nest. The young ones are suddenly mid-air and have little choice but to flap their wings frantically calling for help. As they do that, they realize they don’t need help because they are flying. The mummy birds are usually close-by to help, but don’t step in. They know for survival in this world, everyone needs to fly!

My big question to me is, “why didn’t he break it to me gently?” and responding to myself the answer, “he’s been dating for over four years the same chick… duh!”
Its almost time for some readjustment, and soon it will be my time to fly alone. Only one more bird in the nest and that one is begging to fly at 20!


Thank you for reading, sharing and commenting. You are appreciated!

Support the author: I've added my PayPal account , if  wish to support my writing with any contribution.  Its very safe and secure. You can choose to send any amount that you are comfortable with. Please check it out . Thank you!

Find me on: Twitter https://twitter.com/DLE41 or email:dwordslayer@gmail.com

Credits:Image - pixabay.com

© Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER, 2017. All Rights Reserved


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Let's Talk... A Love That Lasts

The courage to carry “To have a love that lasts forever, is to truly understand vows and commitment” (Eversley,2016) In all of my forty six years of life  I have waited for the commitment of true love. To really believe that there are people in this world who can cherish and care for another romantically has become a faded dream. A dream which has been archived into the fantasy part of my mental library. The love stories of long marriages  which are not abusive or filled with indiscretions seem ancient. The new lifestyle sets a pathway to divorces which have become their own academy awards on film. Acceptance of prenuptial agreements and exit clauses are now necessary when thinking of love – whether in a celebrity career or leading a nondescript livelihood. To this end I did weep when I read  from a friend and learned of his devotion, marriage and love for his wife. Let’s be real, and understand this is a true ongoing story of endurance, commitment, passion fo...

Reflections - Value Each Day!

Putting a value on time .. I’ve never been able to figure weekends out. I love Mondays. In fact give me everyday of the week and I love them. I love the days because there are so many opportunities and things  which are waiting for my discovery! Each day brings something new. For me it may be the same job status, the same car, the same family, the same 24 hours- what makes it different is me. The challenges never change, but my attitude does. I must change to go after my dreams, desires, to fulfill my purpose. I might look the same on the outside, but quite a lot is happening on the inside. I’m dreaming! There is a plan for something more to happen, then it happens unexpectedly and I’m ready! While waiting I’m there seeking out, creating, and finding each day different. Reflection: Enjoy each day Pause, wait, look around and smell the scent of the present you are in. I smell the salt in the sea wherever I am when I pause. That’s my moment of joy. Facing the sun, with t...

A Canopy of Grace

Photo Credits: unsplash.com/Thom Milkovic   Drop your canopy O Lord, let it fall on the earth. Let it pick up all the people who are suffering and hurt. Let your canopy be big enough, that everyone can fit, Lord please I beg you, allow everyone to see it. Drop your canopy on the ground O Lord, Because some people cannot look up high For these are the people who love you, and without it may surely die. Drop your canopy dear Lord, for the little children to see Especially, the ones who are impoverished and living in poverty Drop your biggest canopy dear God on the earth Let it be enough, like a berth awaiting vessels to sail A mooring prepared with glorious flair, just waiting For the people to get there. Drop it, just drop it on the earth Drop it because you care. Please let your canopy fall dear Lord, because not everyone can see Let the ones who need it most dear Lord, be covered by its safety. Drop your canopy my Lord and Savior, drop it on the...