PTSD - In Absentia

I still don't understand PTSD fully.  What I do understand is the feeling which sometimes creeps up. It makes the world seem different for a while. It can be like seeing reality in a different way. During awareness it can be hostile. It's easy to give up control if unaware or absent when time shifts.

Breathing helps, and writing. Keeping calm and focused is not as easy as it can seem. 

PTSD in absentia

Breathe out..exhale
Go slowly, wait
Think less…pray more
There is no freedom…in your sorrow
Breathe in…wait
Running fast will take you no where
If you think, you can dream
I want you to think, who you can be
 Breathe in…exhale slow
The world is not the one you know
Let it out, the misery
Breathe in…your life is free
Moving fast will not take you there
Go slowly, you have no fear
 Breathe in..exhale slowly
Let the rhythm feel your heartbeat moving
Take all the time you need
Don’t shoulder the world
Just let it be 

Breathe out, exhale again
Your destiny is your best friend
Breathe in, breathe out again
Let the air move you
Beyond thoughts of ‘when’.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder can happen to anyone. It does not discriminate. If you have gone through a traumatic experience in your life and finding your 'way out' seems difficult seek help from a 'Trauma Professional' or Psychiatrist / Mental Health Professional. Some of the symptoms of PTSD are; 

• Recurring nightmares and dreams of the event and flashbacks sometimes quite frequently.
• Hyper emotional reactions to everyday things / situations.
• Anxiety
• Avoidance of the event/situation - hoping it will go away or not exist
• Thoughts of suicide and abandonment 
• Constant negative thoughts about life and general experiences.
• Depression and mood-swings

PTSD is treatable. You may have all of the above or just a couple symptoms, but its best to be proactive. Seek help if you or someone you know is experiencing challenges coping with life after something traumatic.

I'm not a professional in this area but have been diagnosed with PTSD after being knocked over by a car at work just over a year ago.

**It does not go away, if you are not aware it exists in your life.

Thank you for reading and engaging. Let's discuss and share to make this world a better place!

You can also share with me on Facebook and Twitter. I like hearing from you!

DWordslayer

 Artwork: Artistree -andrew.innocent@hotmail.com

© Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Humanitarian Advocacy 3 - The Real Cost of War & Justice (Part 2)

A Just Society

"Justice is difficult for those with limited or no resources to fight." (Eversley,2016)

In part 1, we saw a war declared, and the battle cry which followed was crushing. 

The organization, the institution, the country have the resources and the capacity to crush the employee who dares to fight and not comply. The Business Dictionary Online defines 'justice' in the workplace in the following way:-

“Fairness in protection of rights, and punishment of wrongs. While all legal systems aim to uphold this ideal through fair and proper administration of the law of the land, it is possible to have unjust laws.”(Business Dictionary.com, 2015)

Goliath v Employee

How is an employee, an individual to take on this Goliath who holds freedom from economic poverty by employment? Goliath holds the keys to unlock statutory benefits based on compulsory subscriptions to government institutions. Goliath has the power of political affiliations in many countries, and can coerce, persuade and cause distress. If a biblical twist can be used ‘David does not always defeat Goliath’ in many cases intervention must be given by the voice of public support for the employee. Humanitarian Advocates!

What a fight, a war for an onlooker, sitting on the sidelines as the blood pours out powerless and hurting also. Character assassinations, denied benefits and healthcare, denied resources as designated by the laws for sustainability. Some employers will use every possible tool to discredit that lone, single person to prove they hold power and must be right because of it. The only defenders most times are humanitarian advocates, and they are potentially, casualties of war also.

Will no one hear this voice – person sitting next to you, the absence of your colleague? Where has humanity gone? Where is justice? Where are you humanitarian advocate? Where are you defender of the people?

I hear silence.

Who will fight for the stranger who stands in front alone in battle – not I say the rat, not I say the snake, not I say the vulture. I will says the horse who will not stop till the end of the race. In George Orwell’s Animal Farm the statement is made of all animals being made equal, but some are more equal than others, this I remember. 

The superficial order of human resources relations;  with imaginary values, ethics and goals show a public display of what is not. They give something to make headlines,  trinkets of charitable donations and professions of love and good will. It is much easier to accept the devil who tells his truth in lies, than the saint who lies camouflaging  his love for power and himself. 

Spoils of war

1. The real cost of war and justice is the loss of peace. It is the lost dreams, ideals, and hope for a fair work environment
2. The real cost of war is the fire that lights the fight in the unexpected warrior, changing his/ her life.
3. The real cost of war is an ongoing fight for the reform of laws to protect, defend and for justice for all.
4. The biggest real cost of war is death. Someone dies for others to live. Casualties of war; fallout from injustice; caused by a few hurting many.

As I reflect life, this battle could not have been predicted. Taken unawares – pain, medication, a broken body, but maybe prepared by a love for people and humanity. My heart aches for those who must walk this road, but hurts even more for those who cannot fight. This struggle is real, but hope is present!

Thank you for following this message, these words. Share your thoughts and lets all raise awareness of Humanitarian Advocacy in the workplace!

This has turned into a series of six articles with Humanitarian Advocacy 3 being split into 2 parts. Coming next is Corporate warfare- Life games. 

The picture on the left is the actual site where this warrior was injured.

The other articles in this series are available below;

Humanitarian Advocacy 1

Humanitarian Advocacy 2-The sick and injured warrior!
Humanitarian Advocacy 3-The Real Cost Of War & Justice Pt1

You can also share with me on Facebook and Twitter. I like hearing from you!

DWordslayer

 

 Artwork: Artistree -andrew.innocent@hotmail.com

© Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Seeing The Glass For What It Is

The Light

Yesterday I saw one of my doctors, and realized my journey will be long. I knew this before, but it only hit me ( a big wallop) last night. I have ongoing pain. Some days are better than others, but I am alive. For those following my journey you will know this year I decided I must live, live, live.

Whatever your story, whatever your struggle, whatever your challenges - you are alive to see another dawn.

I have over thirty plus years experience in "sales and business development"and most aspects of  both fields. Tough times don't change unless you get tough and wise. For life to be sustained you have to find a way to balance the challenges of your professional life and your personal reality.

I have had the privilege to be an entrepreneur  working in a regional market with an international supplier and a local base. I have had successes and I've had my share of failures, all adding to my practical experience. Most importantly though, I have had the support of my family, friends and customers who believe in me.

There are always requests for advice and assistance which I'm happy to share. Knowledge attained should be put to good use, even if you are unable to aggressively use it as hoped. To coach and mentor is a way of improving and honing your skills, which many should seek to do.The surest way to know you understand is to share, and wait for the response aka results!

That glass

From the beginning of time - as I know it - I've been told about how we see 'the glass'. To see the glass as half empty or half full relates to how you choose to see your circumstances, opportunities or life. The reality of what we see has a lot to do with how we think and our beliefs, in my opinion. Thus, I choose to see my glass for what it is.

Hey, my glass is bent out of shape, has a few kinks but is made of one of those strong sturdy Teflon type materials. If you poured into my cup right now, it may not even hold everything, but by God it holds enough. It holds something, and you can have a drink of my advice, thoughts or suggestions if you need it!

I have posted this poem somewhere before, but it seems appropriate for today;

My Hope

I want to see the sun with its orange and green

I want to know it will smile right back on me

To bask in the radiant beautiful glow

To feel warmth and the freedom of the sun on my nose

I hope to see in this darkness a glimmer of light

In the wind, in the rain, in my darkness , just something right

I wish to pray to my father just to understand why

How this world could be so evil, with so little humanity inside

How do the lives exist bringing torment and pain

How do the innocent perish - why the hurt its all insane

I want to see the sun, it is the highest point of hope

I want to trust in its beauty  and not see blackness unfold

How can the sun shine its golden light in the middle of a desolate day

How can the stars share their tiny rays  in a world filled with hate

When will my orange and green sun sparkle  on the earth next to me

Today- I long to see the sun with its rays shining back in all its glory

(Created April, 2015)

So today, let me say, that sun is shining right back at me. What has changed? My reality is the same, but my mindset is different  and I'm seeing my glass for what it is. The glass can be held!

Be inspired!

Let's engage and discuss. I can be reached via email at dwordslayer@gmail.com

Thank you for reading.

This is me, your favorite wordslayer, hahaha!

You can also share with me on Facebook and Twitter. I like hearing from you!

DWordslayer

 Artwork: Artistree -andrew.innocent@hotmail.com

© Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Humanitarian Advocacy 3 - The Real Cost of War & Justice (Part 1)

Find The Light

"In the moment of your hardest trials the sun will come out. In some way it will."(Eversley,2015)

Everything in life has some light in the darkest of times. How do you value life and the cost of justice in a corporate war? Why start a war and what is justice - are the questions to answer.

Life's Cost

There is a cost to live, a life to pay for

Do know your worth

The value of your life

If you can figure it out, give me your tally

Hard to decide, if attributing money

Can you value a part, maybe the fingers you write with?

Do you think it’s worth more than words of a myth?

No one part can be valued more than the other

No one is more important than that unknown brother?

So you live but you die; life of working shame

For money, or power to add to a name

Life misses its mark as you tarry and jest

Love misses your soul, do you even feel regret

Lashing out their voices in rage with threats of a war which is real

Your dagger digging into that innocent’s appeal

Hear, hair as my locks fall to the ground

Samson weakens with your rage

Life has darkened and aged

Justice has a cost, war has one too

Life has a cost, paid for with rules

The system of freedom frees you from outside

The bondage of hatred, keeps you as you slide

You pay with your soul, to suffer the cost

Some pay with their life, as their work is lost

This war is for freedom, you want them to lose

Justice is a cost, paid for by your rule

We all die, when we live 

This adversity is not for naught

Humanitarian Advocacy is to be every-man's thought

Do you win, when you lose, all the care you do not give?

Do you win when they seek, justice just to live?

War at work

Historically when a war is declared both sides are expecting it. War is a reaction to someone trying to impose their belief, doctrine, power and might over another human being.  It is also to take away what belongs to someone else.

In the workplace when war is declared the employee  may only aware after the first attack.

When war is declared there must be a defense either to protect before attack or to defend after an attack is felt. 'War' is defined by Merriam –Webster online dictionary as:-

1. "a state or period of fighting between countries or groups" (Merriam-Webster,2015/online)

My understanding leads me to think, it is unfair for a person to take on a company, institution, or country in a war. Yet this happens at work. This happens now. There is a war being waged by afflicted employees, where the possibility of surviving is a point of a percentage. The odds are stacked against that employee who must take on the organization, government and sometimes country.

Due to its length it has been divided into 2 parts; Humanitarian Advocacy 3 - The Real Cost of War & Justice (Part 2) highlights the losses in this war.

Please check out the other articles in this series below;
Humanitarian Advocacy 1
Humanitarian Advocacy 2 - The Sick & Injured Warrior

Artwork: Artistree -andrew.innocent@hotmail.com

© Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER, 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

The Art of Living with Myself

Life as art…

To everyone of us life means something different. Sure when we speak to each other it may sound the same, but its not. What drives me is different from what drives you. Each life is like a piece of artwork waiting to be painted and discovered. Its a beautiful mural or picture for many, like the works of French artist, Paul Cezanne or  the American artist,Thomas Kinkade. The stories can be brightly colorful or filled with dark despair. Each step and decision can become a stroke of something to expand on, or something we would like to wipe clean from the canvas called life.

My Canvas/Your Canvas

My canvas, I like to imagine was filled with yellow and orange the day I was born. As my mural unfolded, strokes of white and black began to give life to my actions and decisions. As each decade passed, the picture changed, it expanded and images and people were added. There was laughter, anger, joy, pain, and a lot of passion and suffering included by the artist who was painting me. Street art like Bansky with rich stories or even Gaia‘s bold works are the present painters of our society showing life in a different way. Then there are the works from StinkFish which seem to tell stories in the eyes, deep and soulful. It is Swampy who intrigues though with his mysteries persona and presence, unknown but known by his work.

My art of life is different and yours is as unique as my own. We are individuals of character and strength. Good and evil. Innovator and liberator . We pave our way with what we have. Sometimes, your canvas seems more beautiful than what is in front of me. Then, I feel inspired to do more because I see how much more you have put into your picture. Sometimes, you do less and it looks beautiful, but when I look closer, there is no depth from the strokes. Just meaningless images – like a car, a house, and treasures to be bought and sold. So I focus on my painting – my life’s art.

Unfinished treasures

As I stand back and look at the picture in front of me, I can see its incompleteness. There is more ‘wall to be built.’ To continue painting I must build more. There must be something to paint on, because my life is a piece of art – created to be completed. This unfinished treasure is hand- made by my creator.

Reflection

To live is to to tell a story. What will your story be if you chose to share your painting? Face you. Look at you from within; no mirrors needed to see;  your picture in its perfect place. See – you are a work of art . Be inspired!

You can also share with me on Facebook and Twitter. I like hearing from you!

DWordslayer

Credit:Credits: Complex Style via Googlehttp://www.complex.com/style/2013/10/famous-street-artists/

Artwork: Artistree -andrew.innocent@hotmail.com

© Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Reflections-The Faith to Endure

Faith

Whatever your beliefs or religious persuasion, there must be something which moves you to feel that joy and hope in the midst of challenges and sadness. I believe in my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I believe and put my trust in him, through all circumstances and events I have gone through.  

My second son Aaron, had just turned sixteen and was diagnosed with multiple scoliosis – curvature of the spine. I was devastated, but he had to have surgery very soon. He went in for surgery, and it was successful - the spinal surgery. However,something happened to his internal organs and after a couple days they would not wake up. His intestine was perforated and he was dying – slowly being poisoned. They were unsure he could survive a second major surgery at the time. He did. His faith and trust in the Lord pulled him through that surgery, together with the unexpected miracle of a visiting specialist in that field from the UK - who happened to be on call. I prayed so hard, and I believed even when - after the second surgery he was not recovering as expected. He was due to have a third surgery with even less expectation of survival, and on that last day – his body finally showed signs of healing. My prayers were answered, as were his own.He spent eighteen days in the hospital, when initially we were prepared for 4 days.

During his time of recovery in his hospital room, I recall a day he looked at me and said faintly, “Mom, I just want to feel the air, can you open the window so I can feel the air, please”. The request was barely a whisper, he could hardly talk.He was hooked up to many monitors and tubes. I lifted the window and he stretched out a hand to it, as best he could. He was quite frail. Then he looked at me and said, “thanks mom I love you, you can have my Cadbury chocolate.” That was significant, because he said he was keeping that chocolate for when he went home. As I turned from him I said, “I will be back soon son.” My eyes were filled with tears I did not want him to see. My whole heart and world screamed out that this situation was bigger than me.As I stood outside his room trying to compose myself, his heart/pulse monitor made a sound, similar to those in the movies when someone dies. My heart stopped beating and I rushed in. I breathed out. Exhaling more, as I checked and he was alive. The nurses came to check before I could call them. They advised something malfunctioned.

It was simply too much to hold in. I left when he was settled. I needed the air. I needed the sun. I needed my son to be okay. 

My church was close-by and I went to see my pastor. I recall asking him if my faith and belief in Jesus Christ was failing me because I felt like I was losing my son. I had been holding back the gates to overwhelming tears, and I cried. For the first time in fifteen days which he was hospitalized I cried. My pastor reminded me that I was a mother first and foremost and my faith had nothing to do with the love and emotion I was feeling.

Jesus wept. The shortest verse in the bible is those two words. He wept when he went to see Lazarus his friend who had died. It is beautiful that scripture in the bible –John Chapter 11

Reflection

Its twelve years later and I can look back and see what I came through. We all came through. I had taken my mortgage to buy my home the year before his surgeries, and one year later to pay his medical bills, I had to refinance that mortgage. Things were hard. It was tough, but my son lived. There are many stories of my faith and his faith during the experience. We are blessed more than we know sometimes. In going through that time, I was able to face the next challenge life blew my way.

Whatever happens in life having faith and acting on that can be a miracle. What is endurance in living? It is a belief and faith which helps us endure our challenges and adversities to the point of accomplishment.

Walk in Faith - Be inspired!

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DWordslayer

 

 

 Artwork: Artistree -andrew.innocent@hotmail.com

© Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

The Total of a Woman

Reflecting female thoughts

I'm quite fond of our male species - I have to be, having borne two wonderful sons and my daughter. Life happens and if you are privileged to be around children growing up, you learn a lot about yourself.

I grew up in a home filled with females and had ideas from relatives, family, and friends about the male humans.However, until my sons were birthed, its safe to say, I knew nothing about males.

In getting to know and understand my sons, I learnt about me, and my value to them in their male haven. They think differently, and they should because they are wired differently. They are smart, protective, honorable and exasperating ( introducing me to Steve Harvey's Act Like a Lady think like a man!). They always had both parents- just separately for quite some time. We are parents first, single/ married second, and that's my philosophy, once children are involved!

Like most women, I experience challenges with how I see myself,my family -those awesome kids, relationships, my weight- which likes to fluctuate on its own(smile), my desire for continuously more.

What makes me who I am? What inspires me to push past my weaknesses and pivot forward, to reach what even I cannot see?

My  faith, my beliefs are mine belonging to what holds me together when the world outside dares to try pulling it apart. The strength of purpose and authority on the outside is not all of me. Look beyond that, and see I am more, much more than, the career, the children, the role society has cast me in. The person you see is real, born to this earth not to be enslaved by a category, or defined solely by my gender. I am real so find me if you can. Daughter, Sister, Wife , Mother, Grandmother, friend, if you are brave enough  to seek my essence -find me.

The Total of a Woman

We are more than we let on

Created to be the bearers of the seed of the earth

We are blessed to be called to this honorable service

Never being able to discount who we are

No price can be paid

There is no total , we are continuously improving , regenerating

sometimes we are in control and at other times we are controlled

but we can never be less than we are

No price can be paid to be as we are

deep within our souls

No one can know how we feel as we nurture

and our indecisiveness to pain sometimes we can only feel

and sometimes we hide what we feel

We carry our birthright to bear as our right

But we are told it is not our right and we know in our hearts what is right

We can never pause to rest

because we are more than we let on

We aim to be and to be changers of our history

Yet we remain the same

a complex mixture of emotional thoughts words and dreams

cast at our feet with assertive pride and boldness

and in the twilight of our day finally we can run no more

give no more and feel no less than all we have done in our lives

We go back to as we were in the beginning

a beautiful wonder, the dream of our creator

We are forever always , totally woman

(Donna-Luisa Eversley-2009)

We are part of a distinct society male and female. We love each other passionately, and hurt each other with intensity, yet we need each other. The evolution of the world relies on our ability to procreate, harmonize, and find that ubiquitous place with each other. Our peace requires balancing in our scales of life. Our fulfillment requires our understanding and love of ourselves. 

Restrictions, limitations should never stop us from pressing on. In the sunset of our lives, looking back should hold no regrets. Fulfill your promise - Live.

Here I am, a woman of many experiences, many words & pictures! 

Share your thoughts and lets engage in discussion!

You can also share with me on Facebook and Twitter. I like hearing from you!

D-Wordslayer 

© Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER, 2015/2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Let's Talk... A Love That Lasts

The courage to carry

“To have a love that lasts forever, is to truly understand vows and commitment” (Eversley,2016)

In all of my forty six years of life I have waited for the commitment of true love. To really believe that there are people in this world who can cherish and care for another romantically has become a faded dream. A dream which has been archived into the fantasy part of my mental library.

The love stories of long marriages which are not abusive or filled with indiscretions seem ancient. The new lifestyle sets a pathway to divorces which have become their own academy awards on film. Acceptance of prenuptial agreements and exit clauses are now necessary when thinking of love – whether in a celebrity career or leading a nondescript livelihood.

To this end I did weep when I read from a friend and learned of his devotion, marriage and love for his wife. Let’s be real, and understand this is a true ongoing story of endurance, commitment, passion for each other, respect for family, and above all, the truest meaning of ‘for better or worse, till death us do part’.

The search...

It is easy to find someone to say ‘I do’ and it’s a lot easier to get to, ‘I did not sign up for this’ in the world today. So I have gone to the other end of the earth and now know (by divine intervention I’m convinced) a couple who found the meaning of vows and commitment with adversity. Their strength and likely lowest points of frustration have forced me to face the truth – there can be real romantic love in this world. The ability to live in this powerful place rests solely on the ones who can mean ‘I do.’

The questions...

Is a love like this possible now? Yes I believe it is.

Marriage is much more than two people saying ‘I Love You’ to each other, with all the decorations, pump and ceremony, and an ‘I Do’ at the end. It takes a capacity to see beyond the niceties of passionate all-consuming emotions, to the truth. The truth can be an unpredictable life, with curve-balls and adversities unknown.

What is “For better or worse”?  Can you see worse when you look into the eyes of your partner as you exchange vows and hearts? Can you see an accident suddenly happening and physical intimacy no longer possible? Can you see a deadly illness taking over, filling the space of time with more pain than joy? Can you see infidelity, ridicule and shame? Can you see barrenness, an inability to procreate?

What is worse – what will cause you to break those vows to seek physical satisfaction – hurting your beloved?

The decision...

I’m talking about a life of love. A life filled with passion, children, illness, adversity and happiness. This love is about a man and woman, exchanging vows, and feelings which are beyond the surface. I’m talking about the courage to endure and to take that commitment and say – “Yes, I do”. I know a couple with a love like this. A love which defies the odds, and defines courage, commitment and a capacity to endure - for love.

There is that love. It is possible to find people with the capacity to love like that.

This is what we should celebrate as love - every single day if we are people who have the capacity to endure and honor our love.

Take it up more than a notch. Have the courage and capacity to make that commitment, and honor each other. Have enough love, to be kind, committed and live in truth. Vows are not made to be broken on a whim and fancy.

Finally, have the capacity to find the courage to make your love last.

Dedicated to M&SC.. a love which lasts.

Happy Valentine's Day to all.

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Artwork: Artistree -andrew.innocent@hotmail.com

© Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.