Friday, 19 May 2017

Not buying the fairytale…

When love goes south!

Well its Friday, and I'm still trying to figure out how to share my thoughts on some topics. Love is not very easy to write about, especially when you've had a lot of 'experience' in falling off the passion rollercoaster.  I've been reading a lot this year on almost every imaginable topic. However some stories scream , respond- respond.  So here is a link to a story I read and my 'well meaning, no bullshit' response!

"A beautiful romantic story of loving and losing. I’m not drinking the same Kool-Aid from many years ago. It’s quite possible the mixture has changed.
For love to work it has to be a two way street with both parties going in the same direction. People change. As we get to know someone sometimes that love emotion cools and is different for one person.
Here is some advice to girls like her;
  1. If a man loves you he will show you, by the way he responds to being with you.
  2. If you are willing to be the only one trying to have a relationship, then you’re in it with yourself, and that's very sad for you.
  3. Hey, do not go giving all this great love from this great person for free. Anything of value in life- we have to work for it. No one treats what’s given for free the same. Its like getting ‘fashion jewelry’ or precious gems. You can buy one yourself or wait for someone to give you ‘the ring’.
  4. Please stop whining and crying about how good you treat the man and he treats you badly. Seems to me if you are willing to accept crappy behavior he will keep giving you crap.
  5. Choose to walk away when you are no longer happy. While we know relationships have ups and downs, if you are stressed and unhappy, its not working for you. Would you keep a pet that makes you unhappy? (hopefully the answer is no)
  6. So maybe initially he was nice and then he changes. Wake up please. Read the signs he is giving and not the signs you want to believe. Love should be real. Do not live in your imagination.
I’m sorry to be the one to clue you in, but when you walk away, chances are he will not be missing you. He will not be sorry you are no longer around. He will probably have more time to check out his side-chick.
If it sounds tough my friend and fairytale heroine, maybe you need to read Steve Harvey’s book on thinking like a man. Better yet, watch the movie and find the strength to love yourself . When you love yourself , you will know your worth, and won’t be hoping he regrets hurting you. You will put your big girl panties on (even if its a thong) and dance in front of your mirror in heels to “Shake it off!”

Do I sound harsh? Well, here are some other thoughts I shared that day on that post;

"...One person in love with the thought of being in love and having a soulmate. Totally oblivious that the other person is seeing through her eyes she is not ‘the one’.
I wish he told her it would not work. I wish he had hurt her up front and broke her heart, so she could grieve and maybe get over him in a few years. ( If she’s as psycho as you think, it might take medical intervention). Sometimes the kindest thing you can do is to not give hope of a relationship or any benefits. So you both can either gain a respectful parting or become the people who end up hating each other :-) "

Maybe its the passion which clouds reality when it comes to love. Just something to think about!

This is a keepsake story, which will remind me every time I go 'off the passion rails' there is a reality called anchor to be held onto at all costs :-)

Thank you for reading and sharing your comments. Stay awesome!

Credits: Image-

© Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER, 2017. All Rights Reserved

Originally published on  Medium as a response to 'this is how you lose her' February 28th, 2017

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