Tuesday, 25 April 2017

I sit alone with God: A spontaneous heartfelt rant

Disclaimer: Not all reflections are good

I walk among criminals. You define these monsters as professionals because they dress and speak a certain way. They are educated ( or so they think) and in most cases are able to assume a role of power and status because of the occupation they call their career. Let’s be real, the face of corruption is just as bad in the corporate world, as the drug lord hiring the pushers to destroy a community’s youth.

There is much to dislike in this world.

There is so much abundance and yet the level of poverty rises,
just like the tides of hate.

Who the hell do you think you are?
Who are you really when you pay your taxes and bills and everything
which is declared as compulsory on your paycheck?
Who the hell do you think you are when you go out to work
every single day and expect a fair days pay for a fair days work?
How dare you live your life anymore with expectations of anything good?
Who the hell died and told you that you can be someone other than who you are?
How dare you live your life with such hope and expectation?
Let the winds catch your skirt
and unleash the wrath of life upon your hopefulness.
Faith, what is your faith to you when you fight
that unending battle of relentless optimism.
I do not feel your pain I have my own.

We do not wish to live forever. We just simply wish to live.

I hear you.
I feel for you because I can feel your heart
as it rushes out of your chest in anger.
Your rage mounts,
yet the criminals around you, laugh in glee.
Why do you hope for something the world forgets was once present?
Your life makes a mockery of you.
You are indeed a fool, if you cannot look around
and see that the world sits upside down on its axis.
You were taught it was a sphere,
but one day a man will say its square,
and the ‘alternative fact’ will suddenly be accepted as truth.
So who do you really think you are — loaded full of a belief in a dying humanity?

Screech, Oh Shit…bang, bang, bang…
yes, you get hit again, and again, and again.
It won’t stop because
the weak must suffer the pain of their foolish weakness.
It is the law of the land.
Who the hell are you to expect good service from anyone?
Third world, fourth world, fifth world.
Who the hell are you to crave compassion and understanding?
Don’t you read the news?
Can’t you see the world unfolding — and the people
have lost their way and soul!
Whoever you are, wherever you are- Disabled,
Muslim, Hindu, Christian, Refugee, immigrant,
transgender, black, purple, green , white — whatever your story,
in the very depths of this moment I feel your tragedy, and your pain.
For a few moments I am borrowing the sorrow I try to hide behind.
My present feels soo much more painful than my past.

I sit and bask in the understanding, that my resilience, needs to get some time out. This moment is here and in the now, I sit alone. Just me facing God.

And finally,
now I can exhale.
I can let the reality walk into me.
I believe, because I trust my maker whom I cannot see.
He is here with me, in my moment of agony.
I am okay now he is here,
and my faith, and hope come out to greet him.

Thank you for reading, this spontaneous heartfelt rant.

If you can identify in anyway with this and if it resonates, share your thoughts and share this post with a friend! Stay awesome!

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© Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER, 2017. All Rights Reserved

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