Facing your truthThe past couple weekends have found me in a place of reflection on what a few of my friends want. Its not easy to listen to folks you love share over and over the same problems and situations and hurts and keep quiet. Okay, truthfully I do give my thoughts and observations and many times I’m the devil’s advocate.
Looking back I had a light bulb moment where I finally understood that everyone is where they want to be. What they want from me is consistent loyalty, and maybe not advice or my thoughts /opinions when requested. They want me to say what they want to hear. They want someone to help them validate their unhappiness or their choices. I can’t do it.
As I shared with one of my friends – if you’re in a relationship which is causing you pain, you’re committing suicide. Its all self induced because we have the natural sense to know when we need to safeguard ourselves. Fight or flee? You have to choose one because as long as you stay in a toxic situation it will kill you at some point. Or maybe the other person involved will do the killing. I know it sounds dramatic and harsh, but waiting for something bad to happen is like being an accessory to the dramatic and sometimes fatal ending.
Some people just need a friend to listen to them complain, gripe, get angry, blow a fuse, get crazy mad, feel sad, whine, lie to themselves, tell themselves the truth, make a choice, change choices, get messed up, pray with, lean on, laugh with, learn with, love with and a whole set of emotions.
Friendships are hard because they test our ability to know when to tell the truth and when to lie. Don’t doubt there are times your friends want you to lie to them because they live with their truth and sometimes tell you the lie.
So for all my friends, please know we are in this imperfectly flawed world together. I choose my road, and I respect the road you choose. I may not be able to tell you the lie, and the truth may hurt, but I sure love being your friend, and we got to live with our realities. So maybe if we have each others backs, we can be a better bench to lean on when the truth is shared.
Just thinking out loud.
Be blessed and encouraged
Thank you for reading, sharing and understanding!
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