Grow into the best you:Create a career story you are proud to own

‘Homeless to Harvard’ is the 2003 Movie - ‘ Liz Murray’ story which inspires me when I need a reminder that my life is good. We need a reminder sometimes, because even your rock bottom can be bested by another.
What matters most can sometimes be hidden behind survival mode. On other occasions the action of surviving is the trigger which explodes, fueling our passions. Our dreams can breathe life at these times. There is nothing quite as powerful as climbing a hill when you leave nothing behind. The same can be said for climbing when you know you have everything to return to.
The things which act as catalysts to success are different for everyone. Here are (3)from my past I remember fondly;


1. The ‘adrenalin rush’. We were not rich, but my mother always found a way to ensure we survived. She was a teacher and published an anthology of poems ‘My Fist Fifty’ when I was twelve years old. I thought she was a star for doing so, and greatly admired her ambitious drive. I’m not sure when I decided to ‘hustle’ my mom but I did. She agreed to give me 20 books to sell ,just for me ( bought my first pair of Jordache Jeans)- if I helped her going door to door conducting sales. She had 500 copies and there were 500 at a major bookstore who sponsored the book in part. We went on weekends to some affluent neighborhoods and within a couple months, every copy was sold. When I sold my books I tried to get more than what she charged for her copies (adrenalin pumped by the hustle). What does a school teacher know about making money (I also had a big ego)? She thought it was not possible, and I thought it was. Guess who won


2. The sheer determination of accomplishing the unthinkable when the odds say NO. If you get my back up against the wall I will find a way through that wall! I recall negotiating for the very best technical trainer my supplier had, and convincing him to work with me on a certificate conference session in 2010. There were 80 persons attending the session from 6 Caribbean islands. They also registered for two days at a trade fair we exhibited at, and it was a filled 4 day affair. Whoever thinks that a huge budget is necessary to pull off the impossible needs to get creative. From a gala hotel distributor dinner night, to a few hours on the beach at the end, and training and tradeshow in between - it all happened. I was also a facilitator, driver and sandwich maker . Yes- dream big and live to execute.


3. Taking a risk and being a small fish in a big ocean swimming into the great unknown! I don’t think small, never could. The same energy it takes to think big, is the same to think small — don’t waste time. Going beyond where you are to accomplish the impossible is possible.
What are you prepared to do to prove to YOU that you are capable? I was ridiculed for my lack of academic accomplishments, and insulted for attending an interview which I was invited (by a company director)to apply for. It seemed no one in the room at the time, looked beyond my basic schooling. Then my audacity took hold, and I recall advising the interviewer and the others sitting with him, “It seems to me that you really need someone with my skillset and lack of academics. My expertise and proven ability is why I was invited to come. I’ve sold toothbrushes, medical supplies, film and other products. I’m sure I can sell your ‘capital goods’ aka industrial machinery and make your customers happy. Isn’t that why I was asked to come for this interview?” How do you think it ended? Yes, I was hired at that moment!

I can be badass bold when I’m riled up, but I believe it is possible to do anything you set your heart and mind to do. So what if you did not finish school, or don’t come from the best neighborhood? So what if you were a teen mom or dad, struggling to find yourself? Who you are is not who you will always be. Where you are is not where you will always be. You get to determine your destiny. Why not live a life you can feel inspired by. Its always up to you!

I’ve always wanted to attend Harvard. Simply could not afford it, and I had my babies to take of. We make our priorities and choices. You don’t need to take the easy road and turn away from challenges. I did the next best thing. I read as many articles as I could find on Business Operations, Entrepreneurship, Business Management, Marketing, Communication, Information Technology, Conflict Management, Risk Assessment, Sales, Consumer Behavior. When I was finally able to pursue a business diploma, it was not that difficult. When I started my MBA (a work in progress) I sailed through marketing and helped the folks in my group. The five core modules were completed during a very challenging time, and I had major surgery during one course.

Life is filled with challenges, and there are always reasons why we can’t pursue our dreams. Life is about growth and its about risk. Choose to grow ‘into’ who you are passionate to become.

I’m proud of my career to date. I’ve had many wins and a lot more losses than can be counted, but I took the chances and own those damm experiences! Its mine, and I’m always willing to add more. Own your career experiences & choices!

When you start sharing your story are there chapters with cliff hangers? Do you have the emotional dramas that still bring tears to your eyes? What about the chapters which were thrillers? Let’s never forget the chapters filled with moments of laughter, satisfaction and love. For many, your career is your life, and you get to write those chapters! Now go out there and live yours!

Special thanks to Sarah Elkins, Arnie McKinnis, John White, Chris Spurvey for holding me accountable to this blog!

If my story resonates with you please let me know. Thank you for reading and sharing!

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Find me on: Twitter https://twitter.com/DLE41 or email:dwordslayer@gmail.com

Credits:Image — pixabay.com

© Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER, 2017. All Rights Reserved

Originally published  at The Marketing and Growth Hacking Publication on May 14th, 2017

Have a Happy Daddy Day: A father but never a dad

It’s Father’s day once more, and I wonder about the man whose DNA is woven in my life. Last year, I shared my thoughts on being a DAD v Father, from my own life experiences. This year as I think about him, I hope he is okay wherever he is.

My father died on 13th June, 2013 of throat cancer My birthday is 14th June, and his was 15th June. He died as he lived, secretly not wanting any of his children (all daughters) scattered around the world to know. He died with his wife of thirty years (not my mom) and their daughter (my sister by his seed) close to him. He died afraid, trying to keep his secrets yet knowing they would all come out. He was a man, who was influenced by material things, status and the façade of ‘living a good life.’

Growing up I loved the man I thought my father was

It is difficult for a child of five years old to understand divorce and life, when it changes from a happy place to anger. My earliest memory of my father is of shouting and a fight between him and my mom. When they separated, my reality and fantasy worlds meshed, and I saw my father as a hero and my mom as a stand-in parent. For many years I listened to hateful words and disparaging comments about my father, and his lack of love for us, his four daughters. It would be many years before I realized, my mom was not the villain, or a default parent — she was the rock, the heart and loving soul of parenthood.

My father left us, my mother had a mental breakdown

My mother loved my father and his leaving made her crack — she had the first of a few major ones. We were placed in the local orphanage run by the Catholic Church for six months, because she was a teacher at the Catholic school. My father came to visit us there, on two occasions but never returned, because (as I would later discover) his new adventure and life ‘in London’ was now beginning.

My mother struggled with us financially, emotionally and yet she found the capacity to care for us, and raise us to be young women. My father was quite cunning and did eventually earn his fortunes, becoming quite wealthy. He never sent ‘child support’ as agreed by the court of thirty pounds per month, and my mother loved him too much to make the practical decision to force his hand. He was a master at manipulation and deception and played on her emotions whenever she wrote to him.

Reaching out as a grown-up

In the last decade, I was able to visit my father at his home in London on my business trips, and tried to establish a relationship with him. He assumed if anyone knew of his wealth we would make a claim to it, and this was not so. Sadly all his daughters around the world (six on my last discovery) wanted was his love, and he died without having the capacity to give what he did not have.

It was a privilege to spend the times I did with him and his family. His wife was warm and kind as was my sister, before he died. Finally my fantasy father became real, dispelling a childhood creation, a false representation of the real person. I also saw quite briefly, on a few occasions a look of remorse, quickly hidden by his bravado and sarcastic humor. He met my children, his grandchildren and appeared to be proud of having grandsons.

There are a lot of negative emotions a child learns when rejected by a parent. However, there is a lot we learn about love from rejection, and the value of it. There is a lot to learn from dysfunctional relationships and the lack of core relationships, the biggest lesson being –not to dwell and reside in negative sadness!

Understanding truth and complexity of life

I did not know my father, the man who for a short while loved my mother, married her, and then left us all. Father’s day reminds me of the hurt I felt when he died, because the opportunity and hope for a ‘dad’ died. I did grieve, cry and pray for him. We do not get to choose who our parents are, we come forth from a coupling and hopefully there is love.

Can I love the man who did not know how to love us? Can I love the father who chose to pursue his dreams at any cost? Can I love someone who did not understand the value and responsibility of life? The answer to these questions is yes. I can love him because he was a part of my life’s journey. He was my father, but he failed to become my dad. He died without finding the most precious wealth of all on earth — the love of his daughters. He died quite poor.

Happy Father’s day, and to the Dad’s — Happy Daddy’s Day. It’s about being more than a father graduate and become a dad. Be the best dad!

If my story resonates with you please let me know. Thank you for reading and sharing!

Find me on: Twitter https://twitter.com/DLE41 or email:dwordslayer@gmail.com

Credits:Image — pixabay.com

© Donna-Luisa Eversley and D-WORDSLAYER, 2017. All Rights Reserved

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Originally published at dwordslayer.blogspot.com on June 18, 2017. Adapted June,2017

To Manchester and the world ...with love

Unity not fear!

" To allow extremists to take over our feelings and lives is to give them power. The behavior of the USA President does that. Extremists and people like that want to rule through terror. As a world people we are sad, devestated and inconsolably sorry for those who lost love ones. To be judged by someone who is afraid of terrorists, is not good, however to give their fear power is foolhardy."
(quote from Dwordslayer 4/6/2017)

I cried as I read and watched Ariana Grande's performance benefit for the victims of the  horrific bombing at her concert recently.
As I lay on my bed, my thoughts flew to the families experiencing loss, and felt loss for them.
Hate brews hate. Hate brews war. Leaders who are autocratic and dictatorial, who push the boundaries of fear and division should never be made acceptable by allowing their rule. I feel this strongly.

These haters are few, yet they are encouraged by their power and twisted religious beliefs of Islam. Some are fueled by power and greed not religion. They are not many but the fear they encourage, perpetuate and instill are far reaching. Do we bow to the fear or stand up to it? We will stand, it will never be allowed to succeed.

Twitter has helped us to see who will divide and who will encourage unity. While all the world leaders were sending condolences and compassionate expressions of support their was one who sought to divide for his own gain. This man was quick to attack the Mayor of London - a man busy helping his people, with no time for childish bullying. That country leader did so for his personal gain, hoping it would influence the 'Muslim ban' all the USA courts have so far rejected. He is beyond words to describe despicable.

The war is not between the hard working civilians and citizens living in their countries. This war is one of power and extremism by those wishing for their beliefs and their doctrines to become a rule of law over many. This war starts in the minds of the powerful targeting the vulnerable people who are willing to place their trust in others. Power-mongers  who hate others because of their religious beliefs, race, gender, and social status should never be encouraged to become leaders.

Looking towards that rainbow of hope

"Somewhere over the rainbow" is a song I learnt as a child. It was a song of hope and inspiration for me then. As I listened to Ariana Grande end her benefit concert with this song my tears returned. There were others crying, and we are united in loss, love, and hope.

To all the families in Manchester, London, England and the world who have lost someone through terrorism , had loved ones injured, I cannot imagine what you are going through. From my Caribbean island looking in just needed to say, you are not alone as you mourn. You are not alone as your tears fall from eyes swollen with pain. You are not alone ever.

So here is 'Somewhere over the rainbow' from ' One Love Manchester' :

and I just have to share this one because it says it all also;

You will never walk alone. This is the Liverpool Team song. Sprung from tragedy to strength, and hope.

Terrorism will never be allowed to win in this world. We will stand up to the extremists of all types. Hate will never win. Love will prevail!

Credits: YouTube , Gerry & The Pacemakers: You will never walk alone

Variety: Ariana Grande- 'Somewhere Over The Rainbow' -One Love Manchester benefit concert

Header image: pixabay.com

Dwordslayer, 2017